Ultranormal

I lost my keys. In the house. After using them. We tore the house apart, and we still can’t find them. I’m at a loss. I have no idea where they could be, and the worst part is, I can’t check my work mail without them (you know those SecurID things? Yeah, on my keyring). If you see my keys, nursing a scotch in a bar, skydiving, riding Space Mountain or mooning nuns, could you drop me a line? I’d really like them back.