Oh Cripes, I’m Scared

I’m probably going to India next month. It’s not a place I’ve ever wanted to visit. Nothing against India, it’s just not in my travel plans (well, it wasn’t). After reading the journal of MR. TROY, I really am not looking forward to it.
I have an overarching philosophy when it comes to travel: only go places you can drink the water. This means that so far, I’ve been to Europe, Canada and Iceland outside the U.S. I’ve ventured into Mexico, and only drank Coke the whole time I was there (on all half-dozen trips). Yes, I’m a chicken… a chicken with gastrointestinal “issues”, and who doesn’t drink alcohol (you know, to kill the bad things).
So far, I’ve been told not to rent a car, only drink bottled water, stay at the Leela Palace, fly business class (duh, always fly business class when you’re going to have to try to sleep on the plane – and when someone else is paying), check out the business lounge in Frankfurt, don’t eat anything that’s been washed in the water, take any medicine you think you might need with you (anti-poop, pro-poop, decongestants, antihistamines, pain killers, cough drops, etc), be prepared for serious jet lag (oh, yummy), and don’t do dairy.
And I’ve only read one blog and talked to two people. Who else has been to Bangalore? What tips can you pass on so I don’t die/make an ass of myself?