Any takers?

I have a a gently-used, slightly broken, greatly-loved toddler available.
He gives the best kisses, has the most beautiful blue eyes, and will do “Blue Steel” on command. The downside is that he isn’t fully toilet-trained, prefers your food over his own (even when it is the exact same thing), and his manners have completely left him recently. I must also admit that he is cranky, obnoxious, demanding, and full of screaming temper tantrums that may wake the other people in the house, causing the other people to be cranky too.
If interested, call 1-800-OMG-kidssuck.