- Can you use your gut as a portable table?
- You’d buy a sports car, but the thought of getting in and out of it deters you.
- Lose twenty pounds and no one even notices.
- You know what dunlap’s disease is.
- Your belt is industrial grade, and not for decoration.
- You’re six feet tall and have been turned away from a roller coaster.
- You’ve ever said, “Bacon’s my middle name.”
I am. And I’ve come up with a list of ways to tell if you are too.