I Ain’t So Handy

I’m taking a break from putting up shelves. I am not a handy guy to have around. I’ve successfully stripped two screws that are both at varying degrees of in-ness. They are so stripped that I can’t even muscle them in with a big flathead screwdriver. Now, if this were the bottom screw of the bracket, big deal. But, they’re the two top screws of a bracket, and now I’m kind of… well, screwed.

I hate handyman projects. I suck at them. They make me get angry and sweat. The make me swear, something I’m trying not to do. They make my blood pressure go up, also something I’m supposed to avoid.

Now the shelves are in a state of disarray. How do I get the stripped screws in all the way? If I can’t get them in, how do I get them out? They’re 2.5″ long, and 3/4’s of the way into the stud. I’m smart enough to know that’s not a good place to be if you’re a stripped screw.

So, I’m in here, not working on the shelves, trying to come up with a good explanation for myself. “Sweetie, you know, I saw a wonderful set of prefab shelves at Costco this morning. I think those would work much better than… this.” I can follow Swedish directions. Swedish is a lot like Tcl, lots of arrows and numbers and labeled parts.

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By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.