I’ve figured out what their problem, and mine, is. They have these personas that they present to people in different arenas of their lives. They have their work self, their home self, relationship self, family self and hopefully a real self in there somewhere. The problem with being on a show like The Real World is all of those selves are on display for the world to see. The more variance there is in each of these “selves”, the worse you come off on the show (or any reality show). I have the same problem. I don’t know that anyone notices, or is bothered by it, but I am. I have three selves I’ve noticed in myself so far:
- My Work Self: I swear at work. I used to swear a lot. I’m sometimes a big fat jerk (fat is a theme that runs through all of these).
- My Church Self: I don’t swear at church. I’m never a big fat jerk. I’m amiable and friendly and churchy on the outside.
- My Home Self: I swear a little at home. I’m not as confident. I’m usually not a big fat jerk, but I’m not sure I’m not enough of the time.
The problem as I see it is that I need to reconcile my selves. I’m at a point where I don’t want all this baggage, and don’t want to feel like I’m lying to myself. So, how do I do it? Which self is really me?