Airport Mormons

I’m back!! I slept sitting up on the couch last night and got seven hours of uninterrupted sleep before getting up for work. I’m back a work, a little tired and a little coughy, but here I am. I’m going to work on a Geekout! tutorial on installing Movable Type in OS X for a friend and try not to go crazy or fall asleep.

If I ever get it installed, I’ll probably also do a tutorial on installing an airport card in a G4 Powerbook. I thought it would go under the keyboard like the RAM does, but NO. You have to take the battery out, remove the bottom casing and then you can install the card. Being sick, I haven’t gotten around to performing open-butt on my machine (well, work’s machine – shhhhh). Apple, why do you have to make things difficult? You could have used normal screws on the bottom, and included in the instructions with the card. But no, I had to go to your website and download a 9mb PDF to figure out how to install the card. What fun!! Now, my battery refuses to come out for some reason, and I’m real close to giving up. Maybe it’s time to take it to the Genius Bar and have them do it… it’s admitting defeat, but then at least I’d have Wi-Fi at work.

The Morning News has an incredibly inaccurate but funny editorial containing a request for the Mormons to save the world from Terror. It’s a novel idea, but don’t think Salt Lake hasn’t contemplated it. After life threats of baptism are pretty funny. If the promise of 70 virgins will convince someone to blow themselves up, would the thought of post-death conversion to Christianity compel them not to? Now, I don’t think this would fly. GW and the Boys only like faith-based initiatives of the Fundamentalist sort. The Fundies don’t like us too much. No, really, they don’t. You’d think they’d love the Mormons, but alas, it was not meant to be. To them, we’re a cult and debbil-worshippers. In high school, I tried and tried to understand why they didn’t like us and well, I could never get a solid answer. The only answer I could come up with was ignorance. Every time I explained my religion to someone, they went, “Oh, that’s not so bad.” After they’d gone back to their pastor, they’d always come back and tell me I was lying to them. Ummmm… huh? Thankfully, I don’t live in Mississippi anymore and don’t have those problems anymore. I must not have enough drugs in my system… this is going nowhere fast.

Categorized as funny

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.


  1. The Mighty Tim says:

    I would love more information on the editorial about mormons saving the world from terror. Did they want missionaries to serve as additional airport security? Mass conversions in the middle east? I’m so curious!

  2. Kevin says:

    For the smart one in the family… sheesh. You’re kidding, right?

  3. Brooke says:

    lol Yeah hey thanks for that insight on the Mormons there Kevin. I live in Idaho and attend high school and I get a lot of that…”So you guys can’t eat green beans huh?”……???????? I did read that arcticle about the Mormons saving the world from terrorists, a non member friend pointed it out to me, and said that was the reason she wasn’t going to go to church with me…? So yeah…I hope you don’t mind that I use your defense to my friend.

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