My Little Homophobe

I’m not quite the sensative, hip and with-it modern man I thought I was. Case in point: Last night at Fray, Lance Arthur told a hilarious story about gay dating, being a hottie, and a gargantuan penis. It was extremely funny, although there was enough detail to make me, someone who thinks he’s very comfortable with his sexuality, squirm just a little. But, it was perfectly told, and funny. And you know me, funny trumps all. So, as Lance comes off the stage, I hold out my hand, and shake his as he walks past.

And then it hits me… I just touched the hand that touched that gigantic penis. My brain went through mini-convulsions for a couple nanoseconds, and then the cool part of me told the little homophobe hiding in the corner of my psyche, “Yeah, but I’m sure he’s washed his hands since then.”

Published
Categorized as funny

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.

1 comment

  1. Ha! That’s the funniest thing i’ve read today.
    Hope you’re having a good time at SXSW, gigantic penises (or is it peni?) included.
    Still a little irked with my dept for not getting it together enough to send me…me-thinks a move is in order.

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