Dooce never disappoints. I proudly, and without shame, link to the greatest poop story ever told. As someone who once went without pooping for almost two months, I feel your pain. I never passed out from pooping, but I did pass out once after pooping. I was sitting there too long, legs were asleep, stood up, sat back down VERY quickly, woke up with head on toilet paper roll, and a hand in the toilet.