The Home ‘Stache Stretch

It’s almost over. This bristly curly mass on my face is doomed. Come Thursday morning, it will be gone. I’m currently tied for fourth place in the rankings, and that’s just not good enough, people!\
I’ve hopefully provided some entertainment, and maybe saved a testicle (maybe two, I don’t know what the dollar to nut ratio is). But, we can do better. We must do better. For as little as ten dollars, you too can save a ball from certain doom.

Plus, I really want that trophy.