“I don’t know how to teach the kids to abstain from premarital sex and alcohol without the Church to back me up. It’s not that I think either of those two things are inherently EVIL! Just that… there is just so much unnecessary heartache attached to those two activities that I want to protect my kids from.”
You don’t need the Church or even the Scriptures to back you up on that. If you wanted to teach them that these are inherently EVIL! then, yeah, you would. But since that’s not your point here, I think sharing with them about your values and why you have them would go just as far, if not further, than indoctrinating them via religion. Make it a running commentary throughout your lives. Because having a one-off “let’s have a Talk about Values” isn’t going to be very effective. (I’d love to talk more with you about this, but I’m in San Francisco.. and you’re pretty far from here. :/ )
I have some friends who are really wonderful, and their family is marvelous, and their kids have grown up to be really great, confident, mature, and caring people. They don’t subscribe to any religion. You don’t need a church to teach your kids to be good, and you don’t need one to have a strong community. These are things you can create for yourself along the way. I’ve never met you, but I’ve worked with Kevin, and I think you’re both Good People. So I’m pretty confident that you’ll do fine by your kids.