Oh My, He’s Gone Native!

I still have my vacation beard. My face is now covered in shrubbery. It’s been almost two weeks since I shaved, and the beard is getting pretty full.

Why do I still have in on my third day back to work? It’s embarrassing to say, but I’m scared. Cutting it off means standing in front of the mirror for 30 minutes with the clippers making sure I get all of it. It means creating a big hairy mess in the sink, and then shaving three times to make sure I get all of it. I just keep putting it off, and the beard just keeps getting bigger.

The strangest part of it is that only one person at work has mentioned it. Do they not see it? Is it that bad? I think I’ll shave off pieces of it and come in tomorrow with mutton chops and see if anyone says anything. I’ll take suggestions as to how I should mold my creation for maximum effect…