Category: daily tedium

The hardest part is the waiting. I’m giving a presentation on web standards (and revealing a pirate redesign of one of AOL’s big products) in 30 minutes. I’m sitting here in this empty conference room, which I got to an hour early to make sure all the equipment worked and that I could get the projector to do 1024×768. It all does, which I figured out in about ten minutes. That left me fifty minutes to sit here, by myself and get nervous.

The thing is, I shouldn’t be nervous. I know this stuff inside and out. I’ve been standing on my soapbox for years now trying to get people to see the benefits of using web standards instead of “old school” tables, spacer gifs and non-breaking spaces. I could give this presentation in my sleep (and if you ask Jen, I probably have).

I don’t know why I’m nervous, or if playing Morcheeba over the conference room sound system is helping (but it is kinda fun). I’ll let you know how it goes…

Hey, look on the homepage, and you’ll see something new underneath the really cute pictures and the feed links… I have a linklog now! I know, I’m shocked too, but it was time. There are things I come across every day that I don’t have time to really blog about, but want to keep track of for future reference. Now, you’ll see them almost as I do, thanks to del.icio.us. There’s also a new feed in the list in case you really want to keep up with the links I post.

Yeah, so, how are you?

Me? I’ve decided to institute a “don’t blog angry” policy here, which means you may not hear from me a whole lot.

Redesign in progress… not done, still going. Colors may change (especially the green… looks good in the palette, not so sure on the site). Beware falling fonts.

There, let’s try that for a little while and see what happens. I’m not sure about the fonts, but I think I can live with the colors for now. Sorry to all you folks who use newsreaders. Hopefully there will be no more rebuilds to muck with the feeds.

We took Brian to the doctor this week, and he’s doing great. He left the hospital at exactly nine pounds. A week and a half later, he’s up to nine pounds, fourteen ounces and has grown a quarter of an inch (up to 22.25″). He’s gorgeous, calm and an all-around great baby. We’ll be taking more pictures as we get some more sleep, and you can be sure they’ll be posted here.

In other news, I’m a genius. No, really. I can’t tell you why I’m a genius, or how it’s been applied to my own devious ends, but I am, and I have. Unrelatedly (which I just made up), mission statements are evil. In my new group, we’re trying to come up with one. Why? I’m not sure. Mission statements are silly, if you ask me (I know you didn’t, but really, do I care if you did? Nope). They’re meaningless. No one reads them. No one actually tries to apply them. We spend days, hours, weeks trying to come up with the perfect profound sentance that sums up our purpose in our corporate lives. Everyone gets a say, a tweak here and there until it loses any meaning it might have had. To tweak a cliche: the road to hell is paved with mission statements.

The only mission statement I’ve ever liked is Google’s. “Don’t be evil” should be every company’s mission statement. The problem is, again, no one actually lives by or follows their mission statement. It’s something to put on a plaque, in the little writeup on the corporate intranet, and give idle hands something to do.

In an attempt to at least play along, I came up with some possibilities for my new group:

• We’re pirates… ARGH!

• We don’t believe in mission statements. We believe in ransom notes and manifestos.

• We try, but usually fail, not to be evil. I mean, come on, look at us. Would you think us capable of not being evil?

• We like pancakes and don’t believe in mission statements. We believe mission statements are meaningless pabulum that don’t do anyone any good.

• We’re on a mission from God, much like Jake and Elwood Blues, to build scalable, maintainable, sleek and graceful web applications using the best technology for the job, good design, well-placed effort, our unmistakable talent, and irrepressable joi di vivre.

I’ve got nothing to say. Stuff is happening, and I’m doin’ what I always do. I just have nothing to say about it. Isn’t that worth reading?

Meridia is the new diet pill I’m trying (per my doctor – no it-ner-web pharmacia for me). The side effects include, and I quote, “dry mouth, sleeplessness, irritability, stomach upset or constipation.” Check, check, check, aaaaaand check. But, I’ve lost seven pounds. I’m still not sure it’s worth it.

Let’s talk about the sleeplessness. I keep waking up earlier and earlier, no matter how much sleep I think I need. This, of course, leads to the third side effect: irritability. I feel like I want to kick everyone at least once in the shins, and some multiple times in the head. This makes for an unpleasant working environment. In a job where the daily goal is not to get too wrapped up, starting out that way is not going to make for a successful day.

Maybe if I took Meridia and Prozac together… or Meridia, Valium, and Ambien (that’s the sleeping pill, right)? Maybe if I quit my job, went to work at a garden store tending plants that never ask when I’m going to have that document ready, do this thing, or fix that problem (that wasn’t caused by me, or have anything to do with me). Nope, that won’t work either.

I know, I’ll wear black t-shirts (check), sneer a lot and try to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol, or Henry Rollins. Oh, that’s good. I’ll be AOL’s own Henry Rollins. Someone needs a good yellin’ at, I’m your guy. I can “lose it” with the best of them. In fact, I did it yesterday. I may do it today! Watch out, world, I’m trying to lose weight!! Hide the kids and the old ladies!! GU-BLAH-GEEEEEEE-PPPHHHHH-BLAH-GRRRRRRRRR (I bite the head off a chicken… aaaaaand… scene)

I’ve been listening to this playlist I created called Max’s Happy Music to try and cheer me up. I don’t know why, but the President’s press conference last night is eating at me. Lots of things are eating at me. You’d think I’d be losing more weight…

Just because I still don’t feel well, but wanted to change something, I’ve redone the main page of the blog. The last couple days aside, I’ve been writing much longer posts than I used to, and the front page has been getting much larger than I would like. In an effort to make the page smaller, and allow me to post gigantic posts without any more guilt, there are only two full posts on the main page, followed by the ten most recent posts’ titles and short excerpts. I also removed the “recently” block from the menu on the right. Your comments are welcome…

I also feel a redesign coming on. I’m not sure when I’ll have time or feel well enough to tackle it, but I am thinking about it.

Have a good weekend, and don’t get sick like me. It sucks.

Sick, sore throat, headache, body aches, sinus pain. Thanks a lot, Max.