The Woes of Meridia

Meridia is the new diet pill I’m trying (per my doctor – no it-ner-web pharmacia for me). The side effects include, and I quote, “dry mouth, sleeplessness, irritability, stomach upset or constipation.” Check, check, check, aaaaaand check. But, I’ve lost seven pounds. I’m still not sure it’s worth it.

Let’s talk about the sleeplessness. I keep waking up earlier and earlier, no matter how much sleep I think I need. This, of course, leads to the third side effect: irritability. I feel like I want to kick everyone at least once in the shins, and some multiple times in the head. This makes for an unpleasant working environment. In a job where the daily goal is not to get too wrapped up, starting out that way is not going to make for a successful day.

Maybe if I took Meridia and Prozac together… or Meridia, Valium, and Ambien (that’s the sleeping pill, right)? Maybe if I quit my job, went to work at a garden store tending plants that never ask when I’m going to have that document ready, do this thing, or fix that problem (that wasn’t caused by me, or have anything to do with me). Nope, that won’t work either.

I know, I’ll wear black t-shirts (check), sneer a lot and try to replace Simon Cowell on American Idol, or Henry Rollins. Oh, that’s good. I’ll be AOL’s own Henry Rollins. Someone needs a good yellin’ at, I’m your guy. I can “lose it” with the best of them. In fact, I did it yesterday. I may do it today! Watch out, world, I’m trying to lose weight!! Hide the kids and the old ladies!! GU-BLAH-GEEEEEEE-PPPHHHHH-BLAH-GRRRRRRRRR (I bite the head off a chicken… aaaaaand… scene)

9 thoughts on “The Woes of Meridia”

  1. Ah, the wonders of modern pharmacology! I don’t know if the combo would work, as each of those drugs has its own fun list of side effects, including sexual ones from Prozac.

  2. Valium’s okay, but it doesn’t really make me all that sleepy so I wouldn’t recommend that to help with the sleepy problems. Although, it does make everything in the world seem so much calmer and happier. As for Ambien, eh, it’s so not worth it. It quits working after the fifth pill or so.
    Geeze, I feel like the neighborhood druggie over here… :) At least I can’t comment on prozac, I’ve never tried that one. Percocet, Vicodin, bring it on, but not prozac.

  3. I thought you were happy, man, why do you need drugs to change yourself? I mean, sure, being overweight is a health risk and it’s nice to live longer, generally, but if you’re happy, who cares if you’re fat. Maybe you are bored with happy? ;-) I’m just kidding, but tell us more.
    What happens when you’ve lost the weight you want to lose?

  4. First, I love yer analysis. Perfect. Right down to the root of the irritability. Very good, healthy. Great.
    As for the sleeplessness effects, maybe something completely unrelated: Benedryl? Doesn’t do much for me, but I’ve a friend that a half of one knocks ‘er out!
    I’m also curious about the weight loss goal–gonna celebrate, I presume? New car? Barhopping?
    good luck!

  5. Well, when I lost 50 pounds last year, I got myself a Sidekick. My goal this time is to lose 50 again and get outside the “morbidly obese” range. I’m not sure what my present to myself will be this time… we’ll have to see. To answer Brent, I am happy. But, I want to be healthy AND happy. 285 on a 6′ frame isn’t considered “healthy”. So, I’m going to get healthy to go with happy, and then everyone will be happy. Right?

  6. Just started Meridia myself – I am only on the 3 day and it has worked wonders so far. I need to lose about 30 pounds and the doctor was good enough to let me try two months of it.

  7. Congratulations on the 7lbs, that’s awesome. I’ve been asking for Meridia but my doctor is too old school to even think of giving me a pill to lose weight. Heavens no. :) My co-worker actually uses Meridia now as an anti-depressant. Crazy…

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