Ok, Britney, you’re at the

Ok, Britney, you’re at the top of your game. You’ve got endorsements, rabid pre-teen fans, and hit songs. There’s one thing you’re missing though, in your rise to the top of the media heap. You need a restaurant. Not a Planet Hollywood or Hard Rock over-priced event place, but a real down-home, like your mama used to make restaurant. You could invent a new cuisine, “Nouvelle Cracker” and serve fried balogna in new and fascinating ways. You could call it Britney Spears’ Oops I Fried It Again. It would be a huge hit with those little girls and homosexual men who want to be just like you. Pickled pigs feet on the counter, grilled peanut butter and jelly sam’miches, cheez whiz on crackers, Pepsi products in mason jars. Think of it as a cross between Cracker Barrel and Kenny Rogers’ Roasters (only without the whole bankrupcy thing). It could be huge, baby, huge!

Categorized as music

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.