I got a free ticket to see a early screening of Austin Powers: Goldmember today. So, if you were planning on plunking down hard earned cash to see it this weekend, hold on a minute. It was hugely disappointing. This is coming from someone who loved the first two and has worked on his Fat Bastard impression since the second one came out.

It has moments of brilliance, but they’re all rental moments. There’s nothing in it worth seeing in the theaters or that you’ll be talking about the next day at work.

Goldmember is the worst character Mike Myers has ever attempted. The accent wasn’t done with any attempt at humor, or even accuracy at all. The Goldmember lines were lame at best. Mike Myers couldn’t hold the Dr. Evil voice at times. It varied from scene to scene wildly. Sometimes it was a parody of the original and sometimes he didn’t even try. The same with Austin. He kept dropping the acccent. Beyonce was annoying. She giggled like a 12 year-old through the whole thing and added nothing to the film. Now, if they had gotten Wanda Sykes, THAT would have been funny.

I won’t spoil the opening sequence, but it was actually entertaining. I can’t believe I’m writing this much on this movie, but here are some things I actually did like in the film. Seth Green was good as Scott. Fat Bastard had a few good lines, and Michael Caine was awesome. He and Seth Green did the only real acting jobs in the whole movie. The rest was almost like everyone slept through making it.

Go see it only if you’re a die-hard fan, can’t find anything better to do, and neeeeeed to eat popcorn in the dark.

Categorized as movies

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.