Goldmaybe

I got a free ticket to see a early screening of Austin Powers:
Goldmember
today. So, if you were planning on plunking down hard
earned cash to see it this weekend, hold on a minute. It was hugely
disappointing. This is coming from someone who loved the first two and
has worked on his Fat Bastard impression since the second one came out.

It has moments of brilliance, but they’re all rental moments. There’s
nothing in it worth seeing in the theaters or that you’ll be talking
about the next day at work.

Goldmember is the worst character Mike Myers has ever attempted. The
accent wasn’t done with any attempt at humor, or even accuracy at all.
The Goldmember lines were lame at best. Mike Myers couldn’t hold the Dr.
Evil voice at times. It varied from scene to scene wildly. Sometimes it
was a parody of the original and sometimes he didn’t even try. The same
with Austin. He kept dropping the acccent. Beyonce was annoying. She
giggled like a 12 year-old through the whole thing and added nothing to
the film. Now, if they had gotten Wanda Sykes, THAT would have been
funny.

I won’t spoil the opening sequence, but it was actually entertaining. I
can’t believe I’m writing this much on this movie, but here are some
things I actually did like in the film. Seth Green was good as Scott.
Fat Bastard had a few good lines, and Michael Caine was awesome. He and
Seth Green did the only real acting jobs in the whole movie. The rest
was almost like everyone slept through making it.

Go see it only if you’re a die-hard fan, can’t find anything better to
do, and neeeeeed to eat popcorn in the dark.

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