Look At The Size Of Him!

Jen bought a new digital scale on Saturday and we had a morbidly fun time weighing ourselves (Max included, although he wouldn’t stand still on it long enough to be accurate, he’s around 34 pounds). The most astounding thing to me was that I’ve lost over twenty pounds since my last doctor’s visit. While it makes me feel good that I’m headed in the right direction, it’s depressing in a way that I lost twenty pounds and barely even noticed.

I’m a fat guy. I’ve come to accept it. I’m not longer bordering on “delightfully fluffy”. I can no longer buy my clothes at Target. I have to go to Tubby Bastard’s House of Vertical Stripes now to buy porno-rated shirts and pants with waist sizes almost eligible for the senior citizens’ discount at Denny’s. The trend started after I got married. I’ve noticed it’s happened to even my most active friends. There’s something about getting married that makes you gain weight. Maybe it’s the “OH, thank goodness I don’t have to try anymore, she’s stuck with me” theory. I don’t know… I gained a couple dozen pounds after the wedding. I was up to 260 by the time we left Tucson. I no longer played volleyball and basketball every week like I was. I hovered around 260 for a good long while until the accident happened. Yes, my knee. I had my ACL replaced in May of 2000, and the recovery was a pain. I didn’t commit to Physical Therapy like I should have, and well, it solidified my indentation on the couch. Since, I’ve slowly expanded around the middle to my high of 326 early this year. Thankfully, my doctor laid out the risks and well, I’ve been slowly but surely trying to cut down since May. So, I’m almost back under 300 pounds (307 this morning), and am not about to give up until I can wear clothes bought at Target (or some other store, I’m not stuck on it, but they don’t have anything larger than XXL and 40″). I figure I have to lose about 80 more pounds. That will get me back to my pre-wedding weight. I have a big-guy build (6′, broad shoulders) and wore 220 pretty well. I’d love to get down to 200, which I haven’t been since my freshman year of High School. My short-term goal is to be at 270 by Christmas and 250 by my birthday in March. Then, it’s down to 220 by the start of the NFL Season next year.

Jen’s got us on this Carb Addict diet, and it seems to be working. The no bread thing is bugging the crap out of me, but I’ve lost 5+ pounds in two weeks, and it’s not that hard to stick to other than the complete lack of soda (and everyone knows about my caffeine addiction… I’m really grumpy in the mornings now).

Wish me luck.

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.