What To Believe? I’m So Tired, I Don’t Care.

I am so tired. For the past two weeks, I have beeen absolutely exhausted when I get home. Work has been… taxing? I’m back to having work take all of my energy, and leaving almost none for my “real” life. I’m also pretty grumpy and plagued by deep thoughts that keep me up at night. Deep thoughts about work and things I can’t talk about here, and deep thoughts about the state of the world and my personal undertstanding of how the world workes, which I can talk about here, and plan to.

I just won’t do it now. I’m too tired, too angry and the paragraph I wrote and then deleted wasn’t logical. It was angry. It was too emotional. I’ve realized that I really don’t know enough about what it means to be on the right or left, what it really means to be conservative, liberal or even progressive. I have some ideas, but I don’t know for sure. I’m not sure how I don’t know this, but I don’t. I admit it. I know what sounds good to me, and what sounds like crap. As it stands right now, and this may change, most of the President’s positions seem like crap, and progressive ideals seem pretty good to me. Like I said, I’m still reading. If anyone has any good books they’d like to recommend, I’ll take ’em. I want stuff from all sides. I already subscribe to Salon, and because I do, I got a free subscription to Utne, which I’m enjoying. I also got Mother Jones, which seems a little farther out there than Utne, but I haven’t even made it halfway through that issue yet.

What should I read? How do I find out what a real conservative is? A real liberal? A libertarian?

Categorized as politics

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.


  1. The problem, buddy, is that you’re buying into the “label” party. Why label yourself? People ask me my politics all the time. I’m pro-gun and pro-choice! WTF am I? At times I’m a strict Constitutionalist and at others I think the Supreme Court should have some sway in it. When people ask me “what” I am politically, I answer “…complicated.” And that’s the darn tootin’ truth! Don’t think that if you label yourself as being a certain “thing” you have to buy into everything that “label” portends as a party plank! First rule of politics: All politics suck. Second rule of Politicians: All politicians suck. Period.

  2. You’re right. I was using them as convenient buckets. I genuinely want a valid third party in this country to stand up to the DNC and GOP and make them play a little fairer. Politics suck, yes, but Politicians are shaping the future of our country, and they’re doing a horrendous job doing it. Unfortunately, I don’t see anyone on the other side I can get behind and believe that they’ll be any different. I guess I’m politically despondant. Deep down, I know what I’d like to see, but I’m not seeing it and have no faith that I’ll see it in my lifetime.

  3. Creepy… you are turning into my husband. He loves Utne Reader, also likes Salon. Has tried Mother Jones. He also loves Mental Floss. I read it when he leaves it in the bathroom. 🙂 Check it out, you would probably like to too.

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