The Year After the Year After

I was going to take today off, but that didn’t happen. There’s too much going on, which in itself is reassuring. I have a full day of stuff to do, things to look into and places to be. I wanted time to reflect on my feelings about today, but with my sinuses being what they are, I probably won’t do much reflecting today either. I didn’t want today to be “just another day”, but it’s turning into that. I guess in way it shows that I’m moving on. I still remember everything about the day, and I still feel as helpless to explain my emotions as I did then.

I thought it would be interesting to look at what I wrote on that day, and afterwards. I don’t normally go back and look at what I write after it’s posted, but I decided to go look and see what I felt then. It’s pretty much what I felt then, only maybe a little less raw than two years, and then one year ago. See for yourself:

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.


  1. Annie says:

    I just read the “Forbidden Thoughts about 9/11” thing on the Salon from your 9/2002 blog. I had to stop reading, it made me sick.
    Especially the woman who said she and her bf had *fun* on 9/11/01, hanging out in a hotel room, and making love while the events unfolded on the TV.
    Hard to understand that kind of disassociation. Maybe sociopaths are more prevalent that we realize.

  2. Kevin says:

    I think that’s a little harsh. I think that people handle shock and grief in different ways, sometimes weird and offensive ways. Sometimes it takes a while for things like this to sink in, and sometimes our brains do weird things while they try to process large events. I liked the story because it didn’t sugarcoat it. These were real (and valid) expressions of something. And I’m sure after that lady thought about it, she was as horrified with herself as you are.

  3. Annie says:

    Harsh? I’m not surprised, that was my style all day yesterday. Ask anyone, like poor Daws who had to put up with me in *person*! LOL!
    Your perception is not only more correct, I’m sure, but certainly much kinder than my bitch-on-a-roll mood of yesterday. 🙂

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