Eddie Izzard at Warner Theater

The Eddie Izzard show at the Warner Theater last night was perfect. I was a little thrown off when he came out with boobs. I was fully expecting drag, but I’ve only ever seen Dressed to Kill, and he definitely had no boobs during that show. Makeup? Yes. Boobs? No. That took a good ten minutes to get used to. Oh wait… let’s go back to how the perfect night started out perfectly.

After our horrible Sigur Ros Experience driving into the city, I decided that this time we’d try the Metro. The show started at 8, and we were supposed to meet friends for dinner in the city at 6:30. I left work at 4. We left the house at 4:30 (I know what you’re thinking – TRAFFIC! just wait…), made it down 28 to the toll road to 7 to Gallows road to the Dunn Loring Metro stop in 45 minutes, which left us 45 minutes to get on a train, get to Metro Center, get off and walk half a block to the theater… which we did, and this is all true. We got to the restaurant 15 minutes early and had a wonderful time waiting for our friends, who never showed up. That was the only unperfect thing about the evening. They got stuck in traffic – and we didn’t.

We had dinner at Chef Geoff’s, and it was great. They didn’t seem to mind us sitting there for forty-five minutes having only ordered a virgin bloody mary. We finally gave up on them, and ordered and had a great meal. The food there is great and the wait staff is professional and friendly without being cloying or insincere. It’s right across the street from the Warner, so if you ever go to a show there, definitely check them out.

We sat down ten minutes before the show, just enough time to remove coats, get comfy, and talk for a couple minutes before the show started… and here comes the show.

If you’ve never seen an Eddie Izzard show before, they’re a little crazy. Here’s only a part of the topics he covered in a little over two hours (in no particular order):

  • Airport security for transvestite British citizens born in Yemen

  • How superheroes are just like transvestites

  • The futility of slidey poles in firehouses

  • The Doppler Effect

  • The Trojan War

  • Perseus and Medusa

  • Achilles

  • Flies

  • Fundamentalism

  • Abraham was the big grand daddy of the three major religions

  • Mary and the Angel

  • Riding horses

  • Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens: If Neanderthals had won game shows and Shakespeare would have sucked

  • The invention of fire

  • How inventing the wheel isn’t all that cool, it’s the guy who invented the axle we should all be talking about.

  • The ancient martial arts of sashimi and fookendo

  • The benefits of being a guy with boobs (they’re slimming…)

And that’s just the stuff I can remember. There was more, lots more. If you have the chance to see him on this tour – do. Go, get tickets now. And remember, this is all true.

Categorized as funny

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.