Thuddius Giganticus

I went with Jen to her OB appointment yesterday, so I could see our baby. Doctor GoGo (a story for another time) wanted another sonnogram to check the size of the kid because Jen is measuring “large”. We arrive in the little room with the dim lights and Jen exposes the Belly that contains the Baby. Goop was applied, and the magic wand started showing us our kid. The tech started taking measurements, and then redid them. And redid them again. And one more time after that. The measurements all point to us having a gigantic baby. Right now, today, four weeks before Jen’s due date, the estimate is that the baby weighs….

10.6 pounds!!!

Needless to say, we were a little shocked. After all the remeasurements to make sure she had it right, the tech laughed, and asked us to tell her how big the kid is when it’s finally born. Of course, the ultrasound could be wrong. It could be off a pound and a half in either direction. Which means… we could either have a 9 pound baby or a 13 pound baby… TODAY!! Jen’s not due for another four weeks, and the kid could gain half a pound a week for the next four – that’s two whole pounds. Let’s do some math. We could end up with a baby between 11 and 15 pounds. All the newborn clothes are going right back in their bags, back in the boxes, and back in the closet. The kid’s going to walk out.

Last night, we were trying to come up with names for our goliath child. If it’s a girl, I think we’ll name her Giganta or Thundara. If it’s a boy, Thud has a nice ring to it. Or, we could be biblical and name him Goliath. It’s really up in the air at this point.

Categorized as family

By Kevin Lawver

Web developer, Software Engineer @ Gusto, Co-founder @ TechSAV, husband, father, aspiring social capitalist and troublemaker.


  1. Woah. That’s huge! My younger brother was 10lbs 12oz. Breach.
    At least you know the child isn’t suffering from malnutrition.

  2. I appreciate all of the suggestions for names, cuz naming such an amazing kid seems like a difficult task. But can I get a little sympathy for me, the woman who is carrying the monster child? And now I am still typing because it is too hard to get out of the chair and leave the room.

  3. You can have all of my sympathy with a big golden bow on top. My second was just over 9lbs. and I thought that was going to kill me. I hereby dub you the woman who gets whatever she damn well pleases for the next 3 months or so. Kevin, hop to!

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