1. It was my clumsy ass that jumped into that pothole. You had nothin’ to do with it, sweetie. I did it all by myself.

  2. If I were a detective, I would have to declare that you must be totally innocent. The mere matter of the distance between yourself and Kevin at the time of the injury completely exonerates you of any and all responsibility. Blame the lousy genes—oops, that would be me.

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