Dooce never disappoints. I proudly, and without shame, link to the greatest poop story ever told. As someone who once went without pooping for almost two months, I feel your pain. I never passed out from pooping, but I did pass out once after pooping. I was sitting there too long, legs were asleep, stood up, sat back down VERY quickly, woke up with head on toilet paper roll, and a hand in the toilet.
Author: Kevin Lawver
-
Vive Les Weirdos
I go to meetings at Church most Wednesday nights. It’s one of the many joys of being the Executive Secretary. I take notes in meetings… lots and lots of notes. I didn’t have time to change after work, so went to my meetings in my Mozilla t-shirt, which got lots of funny looks and people asking me what a “Moe-zilla” was. I gave them funny looks, and wondered to myself, “What rock do you live under that you haven’t heard of Mozilla?”
It came to me very quickly that it’s me who lives under the rock. I’m a geek. I use a Wiki. I write a blog (you’re reading it now), and have since before 90% of the blogs in existance came to be (aaaall the way back in 2000). I’ve been online for ten years, and am online, on average, for ten hours a day. I’ve installed Linux more times than I wish to count, and know why I’m supposed to hate Microsoft. I don’t live in the regular world, where computers are used for homework, and a terminal is at the airport.
I’ve been doing this so long that I don’t remember not doing it. Some days, it doesn’t feel like I speak English anymore. When confronted with the fact that 99% of the people I know outside of work don’t know anything about my world, I get confused (I was asked Sunday morning what a blog was… I almost cried).
I accept it, and am moving on, learning to cope. I’m not normal. As someone said last night, “Kevin, you’re proof that the church has some diversity in it.” I thought that was kind of a weird thing to say, until I thought about it. Yeah, I’m diverse alright. I’m a progressive Mormon geek who’s never going to come down on the side of the Religious Right or be much of a social conservative. I support the idea of gay marriage. I don’t think it’s the government’s place to define morality, no matter how the majority of the country feels about it. The majority of the country was in favor of segregation and Jim Crow laws, and look how well that worked out. I don’t like Utah. I don’t like LDS Bookstores. I don’t like those sappy stories that people tell in church because they think they’re spiritual (they’re really just emotionally manipulative). But, with all of those things that make me a “weird” Mormon, I also believe the Church is true, and I support my local leaders. I do a lot of what I’m supposed to (really, who does everything they’re supposed to?), and I’m trying to be the best person I can be… how well I’m doing at that I can’t say.
So, instead of being freaked out by the fact that I’m obviously a “minority” member of the LDS Church, I’m going to embrace it. Vive Les Weirdos, man… vive les weirdos.
-
My Oldest Son
We finally got all the pieces of the video camera out and I’m now going through and importing all of our tapes of Max into iMovie so we can burn them on DVD. I’m sitting here watching the video of us “doing the reveal” of Max’s room on his second birthday, and I can’t stop smiling. Max is so much fun. Watching him explore his new room, with its racecar bed, the mural, and everyone there is so great. He was so excited, happy and adorable.
He’s still adorable, still funny, still excited, but it’s different. Not as many things are new, and he can talk in complete sentances, read, and knows everything (or thinks he does, which is as annoying as it is funny). He’s no longer a toddler, no longer walks with the diaper-induced waddle he once did, and won’t sleep on my lap in a little ball anymore.
Max can carry on conversations now. When he was two, there were no conversations. There was a lot of talking to, but the only responses were giggles or an occasional, “Oh Wow!”. Now, there are long conversations about everything. Max asks really good questions, and I occasionally have a good answer for him.
Max, I love watching you grow up. It’s all moving so quickly. You’re your own person now, not just this little ball of cute waiting to know stuff. You’re so smart and funny now, so much smarter and funnier than I ever hoped. Your a good boy, better than I ever thought I’d have. I can’t wait to see how you grow up tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.
Brian Gets Scared of the Camera
Brian Gets Scared of the Camera
How great is this picture? Brian didn’t like the camera yesterday for some reason… as soon as I put it away, he was fine.
Clinical Analysis of 9/11
From Juan Cole, a great analysis of what’s happened since 9/11, and our response to Al Qaeda.
I, of course, have nothing to say.
Don’t Leave Those Ballots Blank, Vote Obscure!
This one’s for Reid.
Can’t decide who to vote for? Can’t pick between Bush or Kerry? Need more choices? You need to go check out the real list of who’s running for president. Personally, I’m drawn to the Anti-Hipocrasy Party’s candidate. That’s a party name I can get behind. There’s always Mike’s Party, or the Turtles.
As I’ve said before, I know who I’m voting for. But, if you don’t, and the two choices you’ve been given don’t work for you, then you gotta make your own.
Pirates and Scribbles
I love Jon Morris in ways that should be illegal (and in Alabama, they are!). To prove my point, today he teaches us that some of the best things in life end in ‘tee’, among other Pirate Wisdom. Trust me, you’ll love it.
In other news, I’ve decided that I need to get more of my pals to blog. To that end, I’ve set up a new site just for them (my friends who want to try blogging): Scibbles Here. Melissa is the first, sure to be followed by others.
Relatedly, this makes me really happy that I have Dreamhost, and that I got in on that crazy anniversary sale last year. I have all sorts of flexibility, bandwidth and options, so setting up a new site is a lot easier than it should be, and they keep lowering prices on domain registration, which makes them even better! All hail Dreamhost! (and yes, that link up there will get me cool stuff if you end up signing up with them, but I really do love them).
Need to Edit XML?
On the recommendation of a coworker, I tried out Oxygen last week, and I love it. It’s a great XML/XSL editor and debugger, with in-place validation and transformation, and useful error messages. So, if you need to write some XML or XSL, check it out. Best part… it runs on OS X, Windows or Linux, and it’s got the smoothest Java GUI I’ve ever seen. Very well done!
Fantasy Football 2004 – Draft Night Redux!
It’s Fantasy Football time!! We had our draft last night, and for having the last pick, I think I did OK. It’s a fairly risky team, but I think I’ll do well. Here are my guys:
Starters:
- Matt Hasselbeck
- Jamal Lewis
- Duce Staley
- Chad Johnson
- Amani Toomer
- Freddie Jones (TE)
- Jeff Wilkins
- Patriots
Reserves:
- Joey Harrington
- Kyle Boller
- T.J. Duckett
- Peter Warrick
- Marty Booker
- Mikhael Ricks
- Packers
I had to pick up Boller because Harrington and Hasselbeck have the same bye week (stupid, should have looked at that when I drafted them). Duckett and Booker may move up to the starting lineup, but we’ll have to see. I think I’ll be in the hunt again… Yay, Fantasy Football!
And being the commissioner of a league where the commissioner sets the time limit on draft picks, and the draft is really “live” is a pain in the butt.