Category: funny

I have no idea why this came to me last night while I was trying to go to sleep, but it did:

scene: A late-night talk show hosted by a non-descript white guy with nice hair and perfect teeth.

Host: Everyone, please put your hands together for the Prince of Darkness himself, Satan!!

<applause>

A short man with a pasted down combover enters the stage wearing a red smoking jacket, a black ascot and boxer shorts. His hair is black, and his skin is pale and slighty sweaty through the makeup. He sits.

Satan: Thanks for having on your show, Chuck.

Chuck: It’s out pleasure completely, Mr. Satan. How have you been? I hear you’ve been busy in the Holy Land.

Satan: Oh please, Mr. Satan is so formal. I’ve decided it’s time to become hip and keep up with the times, so from now on, please call me S’tan. If we can have JLo, JCap and P. Diddy, why no S’tan? It has a ring to it, like I’ve heard it before. I love it. Or, if you prefer, you can use my new rap name, P. Dark.

Chuck: You heard it hear first tonight from my guest, the Great S’tan.

Like I said… no idea. Just happened.

Because everyone needs a laugh – chickenhead.com

Yes folks, you heard it here first. I am a genius. I rule absolutely with an iron fist and Burger King crown. Baby, I am IT. I feel so much better. I took something written for a different web server, using a completely different language and underlying technology, and ported it to AOLserver. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you may bow before your leader and say, “Kevin, you’re the greatest!” You know you wanna…

And moving on… I think the season of Big Brother is miles ahead of last summer’s snorefest. The evil inside that house is eeee-eeeexcellent to behold. Everyone’s playing the game with a Richard Hatch-like perversity, and I love it. Will especially. I hope he’s one of the final two just so everyone can stand in awe of his evilness. Yes ma’am, that’s one slimy customer.

And one more thing… Max and I came up with a new word last night: Doodootecque: not sure what it means, but it sure is fun to say. It made Max laugh and laugh last night, so I think I’ll keep saying it. I’ll define it later.

CHICKENHEAD: A cure for bad days.

Please, go visit The Norm! It’s a comic strip, and it’s mmm-mmm-damn good. Think “Calvin grows up”… yeah, that’s a better description than I sent to the author.

Oh yeah, one other thing. I love e-mail. In the past, I was always squeamish about sending praise to the creators of sites that I like. Why? I don’t know. I think I’m repressed. Well, recently, I’ve decided to try to counter those fears and send e-mail to those people I find on the web who do their thing and do it well. The Norm’s creator, Michael Jantze is one of those, and he answered back! So, fear nothing! Send that e-mail! Tell the people who’re doing a good job, “Yeah, you rock, keep it up!” It’ll make their day, and make your’s too.

Ok, back to the Canadian thing. There are now more members of AOL than there are people living in Canada. Does everyone just leave when they reach a certain age? Do Canadians not breed? Is it a migratory thing? What is it?

Did you know there are only 30 Million people who live in Canada? Heck, New York could kick the whole country’s ass if they felt like it (there are ~50 million New Yorkers, state that is). That shocked me. I always thought Canada was bigger than that.

It does make one wonder about the great number of Canadians in entertainment, though, doesn’t it? Just think of the list… it’s long! From Ed Grimley to Captain Kirk, our few (well, fewer than I thought) friends from the far North have infiltrated our media product, hawking their Canuck Wares. Be wary, America, be very very wary.

Almost forgot. My pal Jon posted his ideas for a redone Star Trek. I contributed the revamped Scotty. Check it out.

I’m not sure why, but this is the funniest picture I’ve seen in a while.

the norm – what a great comic strip. I don’t think they’re in the Post or Times, but I love going to the site and reading a week’s worth at a time during lunch. It feels a lot like Calvin and Hobbes all grown up, and just works. Definitely check it out.