Being a Successful Geek

Here are some tips on being a geek and actually getting paid for it:
  • Learn to be a ‘tweener. You should be able to do actual geeky things. The trick is to also learn how to communicate the uber-geeky concept to the non-geeky boss or co-worker. This will make you the indispensible translator and you will get promoted.
  • Work insane hours for your first year. It will give you the reputation of being a hard worker. After your reputation has been earned, you can start slacking again.
  • Learn to play UT. This shouldn’t be hard for the geeky, but it’s nice to have the skill. This will earn the respect of your co-workers if you can kick their asses. It’s also how we network here. “Oh, you’re MeatKevin? Yeah, you’re a mean killin’ machine. Wanna raise?”
  • Be the expert. Pick some part of your job and become the expert. Know more about it than anyone else in your group. This makes you valuable and you probably won’t get laid off.
  • Be Clean. For Gomer’s sake, bathe. Even if you follow all the other rules, if you’re not clean, no one will talk to you. You’ll be known as that weird dirty guy and being known for something unflattering is the expressway to Layoffville, my brother (or sister).

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