Things I learned from the previouslies and Kevin, proving that I didn’t pay attention well to the pilot:\
Aliens! The big secret is aliens. Except, if the show told us that in the pilot, obviously that is not the big secret. What is bigger than aliens? I am annoyed at the show for presuming there is anything bigger than aliens.
The mean grandmother was killed immediately following the kidnapping of her granddaughter. The lesson here is don’t be mean to children in your care or you will be shot by terrorists. True story.\
Here are my random thoughts of the second episode:
The show continued with its assery of “13 months previous,” “4 days previous,” and “5 years previous.” Ugh! Who cares about when Joan of Arcadia‘s brother met his girlfriend when she is currently being held prisoner?? Get on with the freaking story! I know the back story supposed to endear us the characters and make us sympathize with their potential loss, but I am pretty sure I could’ve done that anyway since I am a real live human being.
Vampire Sheriff is actually a bad guy here. Given that he is playing a politician, that should have been immediately apparent.
Another of the bad guys is played by a tv-version of Megan Fox, without the thumb issues. This woman is way too hot to be on tv. TV is for attractive people but not the super hot. She has quite the tv resume though. I mostly know her as Sam’s first love interest, besides Dean of course (yes, I totally just went there. Rim-shot!) and various CSI’s. She was also on Summerland a million years ago where her character hooked up with pre-Bieber (who later dated Ruby 1.0 in real life! Let’s play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon!). Have I mentioned how she is too good looking for tv? Somebody should get her some movie scripts. Maybe she looks too much like Megan Fox though; the public would suddenly wonder when Megan learned to act. Looks aside, I totally fastforwarded through her scenes cuz they were all, “blah, blah, I’m pretending to be your friend” and “blah, blah, do what I say or I’ll pull your hair harder.”
Interestingly, douche #1, the guy with a cast who wouldn’t save his drowning girlfriend because the dr told him not to get his cast wet, wasn’t a “bad” bad guy, but just a douchey, cheating, run-of-the-mill creep. Seriously, it was the most interesting two minutes of the whole show so far. He ended up being stabbed to death. The lesson here, of course, is don’t be a creepy, cheater-dude or the terrorists will gut you like a fish.
Guess who else is on the show? Mr Toe Pick! I don’t really have anything to say about him since I fastforwarded through most of his scenes too. He mostly just looked menacing and acted out really obvious scenes, like threatening the girlfriend’s life so the pilot dad would be coerced into attempting to crash into the special building where the President was. I am sure I didn’t miss much. I admit to squealing when I first saw him though.
Plotwise not much happened. Joan of Arcadia’s brother ran from the plane that didn’t crash into the president but somehow ended up in a desert where it had a hard landing. All of the passengers were killed by the government, to cover-up whatever the giant white light was.
Aaaaaand, I can’t care enough to talk about this anymore, though there was an annoying scene where Joan of Arcadia’s brother woke up in a hospital and asked to speak to the police, but the nurse, who is another pretty recognizable actress, kept repeating “calm down, sir.” How hard would it to have been to say, “Ok, I will see what I can do about that”?
Have I sufficiently explained how bad this show is, how bad the editing is, how bad the writing is, but has an exceptionally well-recognizable cast?