Category: daily tedium

When you start referring to yourself in the third person, the end is near.

I’ve blogged and blogged today and you haven’t seen any of it. Work has been pretty wacky this week, and well, that’s not leaving a lot of free time for fun stuff like talking about stuff. There’s all kinds of stuff to talk about too… what with Max doing cute and funny things to our government being sold under our noses to police brutality (and just when we were all on their side too). There are some many issues worth talking about that I just don’t have time to get into, much less stay current on.

Does it say something about me that I know the active ingredients in Tylenol PM?

Nature does its own special effects.

So, this is what I wanted to write about yesterday that I didn’t get to because I got sidetracked by the worst day in many. I was watching The Real World this weekend. Yes, I know, how can any serious thought be undertaken even vaguely related to anything shown on that show in the past four or five years. But, I did manage to glean some useful information about myself by watching the kids on the show implode on their relationships. This season, everyone has relationship problems, with each other, with themselves, family, lovers, etc. Kyle, the Ken-doll future politician is extremely aware of his appearance on the show, and the way he’s portrayed. He’s so obsessed with it that when anyone brings it up, he explodes in a fit of narcissistic rage.

I’ve figured out what their problem, and mine, is. They have these personas that they present to people in different arenas of their lives. They have their work self, their home self, relationship self, family self and hopefully a real self in there somewhere. The problem with being on a show like The Real World is all of those selves are on display for the world to see. The more variance there is in each of these “selves”, the worse you come off on the show (or any reality show). I have the same problem. I don’t know that anyone notices, or is bothered by it, but I am. I have three selves I’ve noticed in myself so far:

• My Work Self: I swear at work. I used to swear a lot. I’m sometimes a big fat jerk (fat is a theme that runs through all of these).

• My Church Self: I don’t swear at church. I’m never a big fat jerk. I’m amiable and friendly and churchy on the outside.

• My Home Self: I swear a little at home. I’m not as confident. I’m usually not a big fat jerk, but I’m not sure I’m not enough of the time.

The problem as I see it is that I need to reconcile my selves. I’m at a point where I don’t want all this baggage, and don’t want to feel like I’m lying to myself. So, how do I do it? Which self is really me?

Today’s diesel sweeties is the best one yet.

So, why have I posted four (now five) times today? Because today sucks. I got hit in the head with an “emergency” caused by someone else, found by me, which I then had to fix while everyone stood over my shoulder and watched. I had to explain several dozen times what the problem was, why it was bad, what we had to do to fix it, and then have them all look at me like I was behind glass sitting in a tire swing with my hand full of my own waste. Then, not only did I have to go into histrionics explaining it, I had to try and work on someone else’s code while being watched, which is not good for my blood pressure. So, now, it’s all fixed. QA’s looking at it, which shouldn’t take long, and doesn’t require me to do anything except wait by the phone for bugs. So, I’m sitting here doing nothing, listening to the blood pound in my ears and wanting desperately to be somewhere else.

Ok, post #6 – if President Bush (jr) really wanted to get tough on corporate crime, forget about doubling the trifling fines and country-club jail terms that usually get cut down to “time served” or commuted altogether. How about charging the CEO, CFO and involved members of the board of companies guilty of fraud and “funny” accounting under RICO? Then, you could forget about fines and go straight for the jugular and seize their personal assets. That would be the ultimate “fine”. Reduce them to the state they reduced their shareholders and employees to. Yeah (insert righteous indignation here)!!

I am so ready for a four day weekend…. so tired… need nap… tired of people screwing up and having to cover for them…. tired of screwing up and making other people cover for me.

Oh, by the way, the presentation went well. I told them all how we should do things and no one complained too much.