Category: funny

Love has urinated in my front yard and walked away. (it’s a comic, really… Fred Milton is definitely number one toilet)

In all the hubbub at work this week, I haven’t even had time to tell you the very cool thing the search business folks did for me. A long time ago, we did this big deal with another company that used to give people remote-controlled blimps. I whined and whined and whined that if I […]

There’s apparently another Kevin Lawver in the world. I was pretty certain I was the only one. He’s apparently married and has facial hair just like me. He’s an “evangelist” for a church in Wisconsin. Did you ever see Are You Dave Gorman? Well, I’m starting, Are You Kevin Lawver. We haven’t met in person, […]

Best line of the day so far: I was in training this morning, and while we were working on one of the in-class examples, the instructor started whistling. Without thinking I said, “Please don’t whistle while we work.” Ok, written out, it’s not that funny, but it was funny in context.

It’s never a good idea to eat Tums when you have a cough drop in your mouth. The Tums get all over the drop and make it extremely nasty… just thought I’d share.

Listen to the dog, y’all.

I am numb. I spent too many hours in meetings fighting people, and now just want to go home, read Dr. Suess books to Max, kiss Jen and let my brain and voice recover from all the arguing and chest-thumping. I wish it wasn’t so hard, but sometimes it just is. Best line from today: […]

More dogs should write poetry.

I don’t remember my dreams very often. When I do, they’re usually the kind that wake me up with a start and cold sweat. Monday night, I had a good dream that woke me up, I think because of the sheer weirdness of it. I remember going to sleep thinking in French, which is really […]

My dad was in the Air Force for 23 years. For about 22 of those years, I lived at home and followed him around the world spreading democracy like seeds in the wind. When we lived in Mississippi, on the Vicksburg Army Corps of Engineers station, dad had an office with a nice big desk […]