• The webcam is coming, kiddies.

    The webcam is coming, kiddies. Be forewarned. My fat (currently fuzzy) face will soon be plastered all over the site. Yay for webcams! Maybe I’ll go start up camboys or something and become a web celebrity or something. mmmmmmmmm, celebrity.

  • Someone should be embarrassed. I

    Someone should be embarrassed. I have never seen anything so hideous. Check out the cartoons. Please don’t visit if you have a weak stomach for things that reek of easy-bake recipes gone wrong.

  • The Armpit

    Gene Weingarten’s article in the Washington Post Magazine this weekend, Why Not the Worst? was excellent. It’s a profile of Battle Mountain, Nevada, the armpit of America. Really, it sounds just wonderful. From the gigantic BM whitewashed on the hill to the delapidated downtown, it sounds really… armpittarific.

    But, that’s not all. It’s really a great piece about America and how things have changed. Read it.

    Which brings me to one of this weekend’s little epiphanies. Between being DAD, getting Jen to medicate her poor flu-ridden self and coughing up oyster-like collections myself, I got to go out for a little while. On Saturday, while Jen and Max were napping, I went to the book store, bought the latest Preacher collection and Purple Cane Road by James Lee Burke. Then, I went to Saigon Cafe, had fried spring rolls and Pork with Funny Noodle and read.

    It brought back memories of my pre-married life in Tucson. I went out to lunch every day, always with reading material. Since we had to stagger our lunch times so the phones were always manned, I always ate alone. So, I read. I read almost the entire John Irving library (Hotel New Hampshire and the latest are the only ones I haven’t read), the entire James Lee Burke collection, and more comic books than I can count.

    It was at this time, when I had no responsibilities, no debts, nothing to do but work and goof off that I realized I’d lived a sheltered life and knew next to nothing about how the world works. I decided, at the ripe young age of 20 that I needed to get out and meet different people. It was something I’d missed at BYU, where everyone’s lily-white and mostly from Utah or Idaho. They’re 99.6% conservative young Republicans, think the same things, do the same things, etc. After that, and my accident on my mission (that story will come much much much later if I ever decide to tell it here), I knew I was missing something. I’d lived all over the world and seen a lot, but hadn’t met people who didn’t agree with what I’d been taught my whole life. So, I began a quest (yeah, another one). I wanted to meet and get to know people from all different “categories”.

    I didn’t have to go far. If you’ve never worked tech support, I’ll let you in on a secret. The facelessness of phone work means you can look like pretty much whatever you want. AOL in Tucson was a hotbed of “alternative lifestyles”. There I met my first lesbian, bi-sexual, gay man, transsexual, transvestite, pot smokers, etc etc. After working with them for a while, I realized they weren’t as different as I thought they’d be. Their views weren’t way out there and devilish like I was brought up to believe. They were just people, doing their thing the way they saw fit. They were pleasant and cool and loved to share their views on everything.

    (this is a lot longer than I had intended)

    And that’s where it began. Six and a half years ago. Now, I’m married, have a son, a good job, and have been working on this concept. Reading the article in the Post yesterday formalized it a little bit. So, here it is. America is big enough for anyone who wants to live here and do their thing. As long as you can live with a couple rules (you know, the “good of the society” stuff, going without murderin’ or thievin’), you’re ok. You can find somewhere to live, a group of people who agree with you, a place to live unfettered by anyone else’s ideas or rules. That’s part of what makes America great. The American Dream isn’t one dream. It’s the opportunity for everyone to have their own dream and to follow it. That little town in Nevada was a place for people with a little town dream. New York is a place for big city dreams. There are thousands of towns and places here that fit all kinds of dreams, you just have to find one that fits yours.

    :: and the soapbox goes away, and I’m going to get back to work – happy Monday ::

  • Random Thoughts

    • Never buy sushi in bulk from a guy with a plastic hat at Costco who swears it’s really tasty
    • I wish TiVo had a playlist feature. I want the “Max, sit and watch this while I do X.” list of Blue’s Clues and other things TiVo’s recorded.
    • This one’s for Jodi: If you’re a company, and you’re planning on laying people off, please make sure the cuts don’t look personal. If they do, you’ll have a hard time getting the people left to get back to work.
    • Fried Spring Rolls + Pork with Funny Noodle = Great Lunch
    • Comic Book Collecting is not a hobby; it’s an addiction. I broke my addiction before I got married. I walked into a comic book shop today, and didn’t recognize 70% of the titles for sale. Consider me cured.
    • I cleared two major projects in two days last week. I am a genius. And if that sounds like arrogance – it’s not. I’m just trying to convince myself this isn’t a fluke.
  • Profile

    You can tell everything you want to know about him from the way walks: short clipped fast steps, his heels pounding the floor with a slap. He wears the corporate casual wardrobe like a uniform. His khaki Dockers pressed to a crease in the front, his oxford shirts in several solid muted colors, afraid to show any personality. It’s the same thing every day of the week. He is completely ordinary in every way, except one. He’s compensated for a complete lack of charisma and talent with longevity. He is where is he is because he’s stuck around, moving to management when the technology surpassed him and he couldn’t keep up. He knows the words, and tries to pepper his audience with them, hoping they won’t ask him to explain what any of them mean. He knows his days of walking his zip-zip heel slapping way through the halls are numbered and tries to look busy by inventing projects with important names. To justify his salary, he must keep busy. He must keep track of numbers, whether they mean anything or not. The spreadsheets and reports pile up, highlighted in a pastel rainbow according to a indiscernable color code. He is the bane of our existence. He stays while those who do real work drop like flies around us, caught in “budget cuts” and “restructuring”. We whisper and point and wonder, why not him? He does nothing. He makes more than three of our former colleagues combined. We sit, we wonder, we seethe.

  • Ethical Question

    Is it wrong to goof off at work on a day you were supposed to have off but had to cancel because off last minute requirements and changes needed on a project that all of a sudden became the top priority?

  • How can you tell your

    How can you tell your sinus infection is gone?

  • Spending Time in QA

    At work, I deal with our QA (it stands for Quality Assurance for the unitiated) group almost daily. When I make changes to any of our search products, I have to give the QA folks the code and then fix any bugs they find before it can go into production.

    The QA process is weird. I work with the same two people all the time, and we have a rhythm. If the changes are fairly minor, we work on just that until it’s done. The problem is it’s like playing tennis with a medicine ball. I send the code over, they look at it, do their tests, send me a list of problems, I fix them and the process begins again. When we’re really moving, I can’t work on anything else. It’s hard to switch gears fast enough to remember what line of code does what and where to find the code to fix whatever bug’s been reported. So, I spend a good part of the process trying not to think about anything else. I do a lot of blog surfing, looking for new sites to read. It’s a weird feeling, reading but trying not to get too into it so I can react quickly to the latest list of bugs that could show up at any time.

    That’s what I’m doing today. Until my QA-Buddy clears my latest Opus to the Search Gods, I’m writing (which is distracting me) and surfing. Yes, boss, I’m working! I’m QA-ing!! I swear!

  • Lawvers Around the World

    I am now on a quest. Since I started this site, started checking search engines for it, and other people have found me because of the domain name, I’ve become fascinated by all the Lawvers in the world that I never knew existed.

    I guess that wouldn’t surprise a “Smith”, “Brown”, or “Black”. Lawver’s not a normal last name. It’s weird. I didn’t think there were many of us out there, because once a name’s been out there for a while, people start to recognize it and don’t mispronounce it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been Kevin Lawyer. I’m sure the other Lawvers can raise their hands in agreement.

    I always wanted a normal last name growing up. I wanted my mom’s maiden name: Cookson. There was always a lot of history wrapped up in. There were the stories of the guy who came to New York in the 1600s. We went to see a chest he made in a museum in Utica when I was in high school. Thomas Buell was his name. There was Lord Dalrymple the Earl of Stair who started a war in Ireland because he forgot to relay a message (or something like that). On the Lawver side? Zip. We didn’t even see my dad’s family. There were no great family stories. So, I thought we were alone in the world, a little Lawver Ship floating in a see of giant SmithLiners and BrownTankers.

    Back to the present. I’ve been contacted by a Lawver who has a really cool first name (Tone, yeah, really). There are a couple Professor Lawvers. There’s a chiropracter Lawver, a racecar driver. There’s a type of soil called Lawver. There’s weather station in Wyoming called Lawver. There’s a Lawver Post Office in Campbell County, Wyoming. We’re all over the place.

    There was a Lawver I know nothing about who showed up in a Google Lawver search who lived in Rawlins County, Kansas in 1900.

    I like seeing that there are more Lawvers than I will ever know. It’s nice to know that on both sides of my family, I go back farther than the eye can see. I can’t explain as eloquently as I’d like, but knowing that I come from a long line of people who lived, worked, did their people things and died long before I existed makes me feel like I’m somebody. I’m standing on a mountain of people who’s essences came together, got distilled, jumbled and mangled to produce me. The farther down the mountain I go, the more people there are. The more lives lived and stories that I have yet to hear.

  • I just found out that

    I just found out that this big evil project that’s been the bane of my existence since August is clearing QA today. It means I’m done, done, done for a while. No more bugs to fix. YES!!