100% AI-free half-assed writing hand crafted by Kevin Lawver about programming, life, cooking and random nonsense.
This is the only photo of the four of us taken in the last three years. Sad, huh?
I guess one of us is usually behind the camera.\
Three years earlier we had this taken. Too bad it’s in black and white:
I want to get a real family photo, but I am obsessively paralyzed about finding clothes for the four of us that will coordinate. It’s really hard! I feel a whole new level of empathy for boy bands now.
They say you shouldn’t go grocery shopping when you’re hungry or else you’ll spend a fortune and buy everything. Well, apparently you shouldn’t go toy shopping when happy and energetic or else you’ll spend a fortune and buy everything. I finished up Brian’s birthday shopping today and went way overboard. I even bought stuff for Max! And stuff for our summer vacation! Mm, nothing for Kevin or me though. Drat. I should go back out, yes?
Why Mom Is So Special\
My mom is so kind and caring. She is loving with fifty-million cups of helpful. She is so thoughtful that a gallon of pure thoughtfulness is less thoughtful than my mom is. She works hard at keeping me healthy, safe, and happy. She’s a 170110! I trust her so much I let her now [know?] a secret that puts me at risk.\
Love,\
Max
Favorite Food Mom Makes\
What is it: Macaroni and Cheese.\
How it is made: take a plastic thing mac n’ cheese and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds.\
****\
She is so nice and she is honest to me. She let’s me have reading time before bed. She is like 2170 pounds of nice with reduced gravity.
I just pulled this out from Max’s bag. This is the paper in its entirety, emphasis mine though:\
I was in kindergarden [sic]. Later, I went to Hawaii. Technecly [sic], I was going to the Hawaiian Islands. I stayed for two weeks. They were the best 2 weeks of my life. We lived in a house where we got dirty feet if we went barefoot. Before we got to rent the house, we went to a place. My brother and I went to a playground. On one of my last few days there I went to McDonald’s (which I only regret only because of the recipe) and later, I left. It was great. I wish it could happen again.
I received a call today from UPS informing me that a package would be arriving sometime today and it requires my signature. Wheee. Mother’s Day is right around the corner and then my birthday is a week later. I wonder what Kevin bought me. Can’t wait, can’t wait.\
Wait a minute. Brian’s birthday is coming up too (before mine, actually). So the package is probably his present. DRAT.
Someone please explain to me why Brian just threw up, seven hours after eating a small bit of plain pasta and 20 hours after his last barfing bout. I THOUGHT HE WAS BETTER!
I’m eating some cereal. Oh yea.\
ETA- Brian just threw up again, after I thought he was better. He only had a cup of apple juice but it came back up almost immediately. Note to self: waaaaaah.
A couple of hours ago I decided that I didn’t need narcotics, I just needed my mom. She is so great about making my aches and pains go away and soothing me when sick. But I am the mom in my household. I am back to wanting drugs. Please, please, gimme drugs. Anybody got the number for Dr Feelgood?\
One thing is for sure- I am so thankful to be done having kids. Ugh, ugh, triple ugh.\
I’ve tried to suck it up today and not let Brian’s care be affected (effected? whatever). It hasn’t really worked though, so I decided to cry ‘uncle’. I am commencing whiny, baby mode NOW. Waaaaaah.
Three of the four of us are sick. I am quarantining the house until further notice.\
In other news, Kevin is awesome and having him is better than being wooed by any fake billionaire. True story.\
ETA- OMG, I am the worse sick person. I need some pot to combat the nausea and some Tylenol 3 for the pain. Boohoooo. Brian seems better though. He and I got sick at the exact same time, though I was feeling it hours earlier. I wonder if I can write a fancy algorithm predicting when I will feel better based on Brian’s stats. I sent Max to school since he was completely unaffected. Keep your fingers crossed that he stays that way.