Author: Kevin Lawver

The following is a drug-induced attempt at humor:

You can thank Dawson’s latest treatise on Israel and Palestine for this piece of stupidity. I was thinking the other day about Israel and Palestine and how part of the problem is the proximity of the two parties and how all they really need is some space. Israel’s well-established, and has a working government. The Palestinains don’t. They’ve got resident crazy bastard Yassar Arafat and a bunch of cronies. The one guy who looked reasonable and actually agreed to wear a suit and tie just resigned.

I don’t think Palestine and Israel will ever live together in anything resembling peace. So, I’ve come up with a plan. Let’s give the Palestinians half of Montana. I don’t even care which half – we’ll let Montana vote on it. It’s more land than the Palestinians could ever hope to milk form the Israeli’s, and they’ll already have streets, a highway system and McDonalds on which to build their own economy.

I think George W. Bush could be seen as the greatest peacemaker of all time if he pulled this one off (although the Republicans would never win Montana again, but really, they have what, 1 electoral vote?). He’d be seen as a hero in the Middle East because now Egypt, Syria, Lebanon and Iran don’t have to hear the Palestinians whine about Sharon anymore, or have Arafat over for dinner.

All this problem needs is some creative thought. I think GW should through in cowboy hats for everyone too – and a pony – and maybe some brush for the new Palestinian Prime Minister to clear. I hear it makes you look presidential.

I just finished reading Al Franken’s book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right. It’s an amazing book that I can’t recommend highly enough, with a couple caveats:

Don’t Read This Book If:

• You can’t take a joke, especially if it’s about “your guy”. I believe this book is very well researched, and honest in everything it says, but the humor is pretty rough. If you love Bill O’Reilly and think he can do no wrong, well, you’re going to hate this book. Should you read it? Yeah, you should, but be prepared for your guy to get tarred and feathered.

• You can’t handle profanity. It’s not over the top (ok, this point is totally for my parents), but there is some.

• You can’t handle the truth. This book will shock you. It will make you question everything that this Administration has done, and you’ll never see those in the Right-wing Media or the Administration the same – which is a good thing.

Why You Should Read It Anyway:

• This is a great piece of research. The sources are impeccable, and it felt like Franken went out of his way to not take quotes out of context. It’s an amazing and depressing read. Not depressing because it’s bad, depressing because he’s right.

• It is funny. It’s really funny. The line about the Malawi Space Program was hilarious. I laughed out loud many many times.

• It will put lies in perspective. It does a great job exposing the Administrations lies, and exposing the mainstream media’s absolute hypocrisy in not exposing them.

I loved the book. But, I can take a joke and knew when he was joking and when he wasn’t. I want my family to read this book, but I won’t ask them to because the book doesn’t come in a “humor-lite” version. I want them to see the proof of all the lies, but I know they won’t be able to get past the jokes. They’ll take them too seriously and get so offended by the humor that they’ll shut down to the real meat in the book. I know why Franken wrote it this way. It falls under satire if it’s funny – even though the book is an amazing indictment of the right-wing media and campaign politics.

Is there a book that’s this well researched that’s just the facts, ma’am? If so, pleeeee-ase tell me!!

He knows the emperor has no clothes. It’s time to see if the rest of the Republicans in the country will see that Bush has actually kept one of this campaign promises: to run the government like a corporation. Unfortunately, he’s modeled the government “corporation” after his friend Kenneth Lay’s corporation: Enron.

Anyone, anyone? Write any letters to McCain this week?

I so inspired myself, I decided to write my letter tonight instead of put it off any longer. You can too. Here’s what I wrote:

Do you think that with this news we could convince John McCain to run? I voted for him twice (once as a Senator, once in the 2000 Republican Primary) – I could be convinced to vote for him again. He’s a reasonable and moderate Republican – not an unreasoning idealogue like the President and his friends. So, who wants to send some letters? Anyone?