Author: Kevin Lawver

  • An Unqualified Success

    My birthday was great. I got a copy of Emergence finally and can’t wait to get started. Jen made her amazing lasagna, and mom made an unbelievable chocolate cake. My friends at work got me a peachy Princess birthday card, and someone else at work did something very cool for me that I can’t tell you about because I don’t want to get them in trouble (nothing mortal or anything, just messed with a large product to make my day a little happier).

    So, I’m twenty-seven. I don’t feel any different. I’m not even feeling wrinkled or especially tired. I feel like me.

  • People who share my birthday

    People who share my birthday (thanks, Cheryl!):

    • Henrik Ibsen (the guy who wrote all those depressing plays)

    • Big Bird

    • Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink)

    • John D Erlichman (Watergate guy)

    • Pat Riley (NBA coach)

    • William Hurt

    • Jimmie Vaughn (Rock guy – Thunderbirds)

    • Spike Lee!

    • Holly Hunter

    • Mookie Blaylock

    People who died on my birthday (kind of depressing, but interesting, eh?):

    • Sir Isaac Newton

    • Brendan Behan (Irish author and poet)

    • Gil Evans (Jazz composer)

  • Holy crap! (scroll down to

    Holy crap! (scroll down to the bottom) They’re remaking Barbarella AND turning Knight Rider into a movie? The world is coming to an end. I can smell it, and nothing can turn it back. The polar ice caps are melting, people won’t stop blowing each other up (which, really, when you get down to it isn’t anything new, they’re just doing it a little more frequently now), Liza Minelli got married to an apparently straight guy, and I joined a bowling league. Do you need more proof than that?

  • You’d think the day would

    You’d think the day would feel different, it being the anniversary of my birth and all. It really doesn’t. I did get a celebratory omelette this morning from the cafeteria. It was good, but it wasn’t an R2-D2 cake.

    I feel like taking it easy today. I want to play some UT, work on something fun, blow off the one meeting I have scheduled… I should have taken the day off, huh? But no, as soon as I tried to do that something would come up and I would have to come in anyway.

    Yeah, can you tell I have nothing to say today? It’s my birthday though, and I don’t hafta if I don’t wanna.

  • I am white

    Yes, you heard it here first. I’m pale and I’m okay with that. I joined a bowling league last night. I wore rented shoes and threw heavy orbs at unsuspecting wooden shapes, in the hopes of knocking all the them down so I could receive high-fives and well-meant congratulations. I’m a middle-class white guy who now has “bowling league member” on my resume. I even did ok for not having bowled in several years (I’m having a hard time pinning down when exactly I bowled last…). I bowled a 90 my first game, a 109 the second, and after working out most of the kinks, rolled a 147 in the last game. That’s respectable, I think.

    The other thing I noticed about bowling leagues is how accurate The Big Lebowski is. I saw several people wearing DudePants™: Brightly colored, elastic-waisted, not quite warm-up pants, pants. If you check out the cover of the DVD, you can make out the kind I’m talking about. There was even one older genteman in a purple polo shirt and purple and black zebra DudePants™. They were amazing, on top of the fact that he looked like Captain Kangeroo. He was Captain KangerDude, bowling on the Greenjeans Hardware and Appliance Team. I can’t wait till next week… I never knew people watching at the bowling alley would be so much fun.

    In geeky news, I wrote a full-text indexer and search engine for our intranet yesterday. I love it when an idea that just comes to me actually works. I was trying to get to sleep Saturday night and just couldn’t stop thinking about it. So, I came in yesterday morning, finished up everything I had to do work-wise and then spent several hours writing, tweaking, testing and laughing as I saw pages go in,and orderly lists of unique words and counts came out. It was the most fun I’ve had at work in a long time.

  • There are now twenty-five and

    There are now twenty-five and a half hours until my twenty-seventh birthday. I’m starting to feel old already.

  • The Weekend Entertainment Roundup

    Ice age: We took Max to see this movie on Saturday and we enjoyed it way more than he did. He got bored with about twenty minutes left and started walking up and down our row flipping the seats down and watching them spring back up. For a movie that made almost $50 million this weekend, the theater was surprisingly empty (which is the only reason we let him wander – no one to annoy). The movie is really funny, much more so than I thought it would be. The only problem was the lady behind me, who exclaimed “Oh my GAWD!” every time something was ABOUT to happen. Jeez lady, it’s a KID’S movie. The plot’s not so outrageous that it warrants exclamations every two minutes. I bet she wet herself watching

    Momento: “Oh my GAWD, it’s backwards!!!”

    Zoolander: The rental of the weekend. This was a little odd, and I don’t think hit the mark. It’s funny, and there are some great performances, especially Owen Wilson and Will Farrell, but it kind of falls flat. The premise was really funny, and the cameos were kind of fun, but it’s just OK. Worth renting, but I would have been disappointed if I saw it in the theater. Speaking of disappointment…

    Rush Hour 2: Can you tell I wasn’t in the mood to think about the movies I watched this weekend? This movie sucked. It sucked so bad I’m embarrassed for Jackie Chan.

    Iron Chef: Unisex Salmon Battle: I bring this up just because every dish made my mouth water. It all looked amazing. If you don’t watch Iron Chef, you should.

    Saturday Night Live: Is it just me, or does SNL rise and fall with the talent of the host? This week was great! The Donatella Versace sketch was actually funny this time, Weekend Update was better than it usually is and even the throw-away sketches like the Turkish talk show were very funny. And the “kiss” during Weekend Update had to be the funniest moment of the year.

  • What I Believe I’ve been

    I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and waiting for the write time to sit down and get it all out. Jen and Max are napping, and the NCAA men’s basketball tournament is muted in the background. Now seems like as good a time as any.

    I’ve been trying to come up with a simple, boiled down to its root, statement of belief. Robert Fulghum talks about doing this himself in his first book, and well, it’s always seemed like a good idea. Now that I’m a father, I figured I’ll have to eventually communicate to my son what I believe in succinctly and clearly and I should be ready to have that conversation. So, here it goes: I believe in contradictions.

    The Bible says that there is opposition in all things. For there to be good, there has to also be evil, etc, etc. While I believe that to be true, I think it goes deeper than that, in that there are very few cut and dried issues in this life. Every day, we make decisions that lie in the grey, in-between place between perfectly right and absolutely wrong. The challenge is to balance life’s contradictions into making the grey as light as possible.

    Here are some of the contradictions I’ve found that have led me to my statement of belief:

    1. Our political system is fundamentally flawed but perfectly designed. Representative Democracy is the greatest form of government ever conceived. The governed have the right to change the leadership fairly frequently, and almost all decisions made by the representative branches should be open to public scrutiny. It’s perfectly conceived and balanced to provide representation of the people without bringing everything to a standstill so every citizen can vote on every decision (which would be a pure democracy). The system is fundamentally flawed because we have a lazy electorate. In order for there to be true representation, the represented must have a clear understanding of each candidate’s views and political affiliations. They must also keep their representatives accountable and vote them out if they fail to represent their constituents correctly. That’s not happening, unfortunately. Less than half of the citizens eligible to vote in this country bother. Leaving it up to about 40% of the population to choose our leaders, and I would guess that a good majority of them vote along party lines because either they’re lazy or out of some crazed sense of tradition. It makes for career politicians who pander to lobbyists and corporations instead of their constituents.

    2. I believe in both God and Evolution. Yeah, you heard it right. I believe in God and Evolution. I think that dinosaurs existed and that species evolved into other species to give us the flora and fauna we have on this earth. I’m not sure I believe that man evolved from ape-like creatures, but I don’t think it’s impossible. I believe that God created the heavens and the earth and everything on it, and for us to strictly translate Genesis and say, “Well, God just said let it be, and there it was” is not giving Him enough credit. Saying that man evolved is not a denial of divine origin. It is an acknowledgement that, given the evidence we have, He may have taken the scenic route in the act of creation and started a process He knew would result in humanity. It just makes sense to me that way. Saying the universe and the resulting “us” is an accident doesn’t make sense. Neither does saying that Genesis is the literal process of creation make any sense to me either. I think it’s somewhere in the middle, in the grey.

    There are more, and I’m going to try to write them down as I think of them and can put them into words.

    As a slightly-related aside, I started seriously thinking about writing this down after watching the HBO Special Monica in Black and White. It was a documentary showing the timeline of the whole nasty affair, and a Q&A session that Monica Lewinsky held, all filimed in lovely soft focus black and white. The part that really got me thinking was a statement from an audience member. He stood up and said basically that he was offended that she was being dishonest and presenting a spinned and self-serving version of the story. He found it disturbing that she was presenting her story about her story and her pain and not the “truth”. No, really? She gave a view, however it was spun, of her view of what happened. If it was Bill Clinton on that stage crying his eyes out, it would be his view of what happened. The same if it had been Linda Tripp had been up there. She would have been presented as a national hero who did what any of us would have done, and Monica would have been the doltish slut who seduced the president instead of the naive girl seduced by the most powerful man in the world that Monica presented. There are very few completely honest accounts of anything in history. The winners write history, and unfortunately, the only way to piece together these self-serving accounts and try to come up with a comprehensive picture of what happened. I had no problem with what was presented on the show. In fact, I think it’s about time she be able to tell her story (I didn’t read her book, so it’s the first time I’ve even heard her speak, I think). Everyone else involved got to tell their’s first, which makes her’s seem less honest when we cloud story with “fact” as presented by the other parties.

    I think that’s enough opining for a Sunday afternoon… see y’all tomorrow.

  • Pace

    There’s something to be said for a change of pace. While work has been fairly busy lately, it’s been busy in spurts, and not so busy that I can’t work at a leisurely pace and still get things done early. Lately, it’s been busy. Busy enough that I don’t notice when Groove Salad has to re-buffer and I’m left without music for a minute or two. I don’t notice that it’s 11:30 on the dot and time for lunch. It’s fun to be so busy that the days fly by. I’m working on important and top secret projects that make coming to work more fun. I’m looking forward to my new job and the freedom I’ll have to affect change and make our products cooler and keep up with new standards and technology. Yeah, baby, I’m a geek. I have the carpal tunnel to prove it. Stand back, it’s a GEEK OUT!

  • I was offered a job

    I was offered a job today. Not formally, but I was definitely offered one. I didn’t apply for the job, or give any signals that I wanted the job, but it was offered. I’m extremely excited. It’s within the company, and pretty much the job of my dreams. It will involve more than just building things, but software design, concepts and developing strategy, which is a lot more than I do know. It’s a new challenge. I think I’m ready for it. I’ve been kind of coasting lately, and feeling a little stagnant. This new job will give me the opportunity to get more involved in all facets of Searchin’ for stuff, and man, that’s fun. Can’t wait till I can give you more details…