It starts with Big Love, continued with Penn & Teller last week, and Dooce seals it. I’m not sad about those three things, but what those three things each have made me think and feel. I would have written about all of these seperately, but I’ve been working eleven to twelve hour days for the past week and just haven’t had time to even think about this for more than a few minutes. Let’s see if I can get through this.\
I really like Big Love. I think it’s funny, engaging, and the little hints of life in Utah make me giggle. I like that the show has done a good job of showing that the compound (whatever they call themselves, I forget) are not part of the church, especially in the episode with the reporter where Roman talks about the end of polygamy and where they split from the LDS church. I love that the Mormon girl who works at the restaurant is sweet and caring, even if she is a little too prudish. That she went to pick up her friend made me happy. So, overall, I dig the show. I can’t wait to see where it goes. Why does it make me sad? It makes me sad because the Church, and a lot of members of the Church have thrown a hissy about it. It’s a TV show set in Utah. When was the last time that happened? These kinds of people actually exist in Utah, Idaho and Northern Arizona. Denying that these groups exist is dishonest. The show has made pretty clear that they’re not part of the LDS church anymore on more than one occasion. Hell, no one making a stink has probably even watched the show (because HBO is evil, ya know) to judge for themselves.\
Next, I love Penn & Teller: Bullshit. I don’t agree with them a lot of the times, but they’re funny, and I respect the funny. Their last episode was about the Boy Scouts and how they exclude atheists and homosexuals. I was a scout, both of my brothers were scouts. My dad was on the cover of Boy’s Life when he was a scout. All four of us are Eagles. Jen posted earlier about it, but I’ll repeat it. At the end of the show, they did this bit about how they were starting their own club, and no Mormons could join since Mormons already had their exclusive club. It was funny, but it hit me like a punch in the face. I’m disgusted by our unwillingness as a religion and as a culture to accept those who are different. Why can’t we embrace those who’ve already been marginalized by society? We are all children of God, and should all be treated with respect. If someone wants to be a Boy Scout, and is willing to be a part of the troop, why not let him in? Why close the door on what could be a great opportunity for both the scout and the troop to learn from each other?\
And Dooce… I love Dooce too. She writes the funniest blog on the planet and her stuff about living in Utah is priceless. Her latest post was about a book she saw at the checkout line called The Second Coming: How Awesome Will It Be?, written by some guy who’s obviously very Mormon. I don’t care about the book, or the stream of mocking comments (some of which were damn funny). What I care about is that Utah Mormons and their culture reflects poorly on me and my religion.\
OK, more and more, my religion reflects poorly on me. The older I get, and the more people I meet, the more befuddled I get about my place in my religion. The more experiences I have and the more places I go, I look back and see a great religion being swung to the right by a culture that’s embraced everything that’s wrong in American religious thinking. They’ve joined the Christian Right, which appalls me. The Christian Right comes from the same source as Governor Bogg’s extermination order (if you don’t know, it was an order written by Governor Boggs that made it legal to kill Mormons), and from the same source that hunted Mormons across the country from New York to Nauvoo, and now we’re embracing it?\
I am tired of holding my tongue whenever the topic of homosexuality, politics or life outside the church comes up. I’m tired of feeling so alone in Priesthood when the approving nods start about how morally corrupt everyone on the outside is. I’m tired of gettiing those looks when I do open my mouth and remind them that the New Testament exists and that Christ embraced the sinners and forgave them, that we don’t get to judge people, that we were once the ones who were persecuted, that the same political groups they’re now supporting are led by some of the most virulent anti-Mormons on the planet (Hellooooo, Dr. Dobson and Mr. Falwell).\
I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I’m wrong and at some point this will all go away and I’ll feel comfortable at church again, or if I’ll go away for good and stop being Mormon. I don’t know what that would mean, for me or my family. I’ll let you know…