Ultranormal

Author: Kevin Lawver

  • Dating Sherman

    There’s so much to say. I’m going to California next week! I get to spend four days in the Bay Area for work doing workly things. I’ll tell you all about them either right after they happen, or when I get back.

    Recently, I’ve been thinking about the time I lived in Mississippi, in our little WW2 POW-Built house at Number 7 Trinity Circle on the Vicksburg Army Corps of Engineers Station. The more I think about it, the weirder it seems. We lived at the top of the hill, overlooking a horribly polluted pond, surrounded by labs containing all kinds of experiments. Because we lived on the station, and Security was three hicks with walkie-talkies who rarely did rounds, we pretty much had the run of the place at night and on weekends. I never got caught doing anything, but my brother did once. I’ll let him tell the story if he wants. I really want to talk about dating.

    My dad up and moved us to Mississippi in February of my Junior year of High School. Needless to say, I was not happy. I had friends, girlfriends, a social life and Northern Virginia iis just a great place to live. Mississippi? I went from on of the highest ranked school system in the country to one of the worst – one that was desegregated in 1987. Yeah, that’s not a typo. I went to a high school that refused to have a prom because the races might mix. There are lots of stories, I could tell, but I want to tell you about the Sherman and the girl.

    I loved to impress dates by taking them to weird places on the station and trying to “make magic happen” (oh, I was a pathetic creature in high school, but I was earnest). We’d dance, talk, sometimes more. One night, after dinner and a movie, I took my date for the evening to the tank course. I parked the car next to the World War 2 vintage Sherman tank and cranked up the romantic tunes. We danced for a while, and then she noticed the tank. She kind of gasped and got so into the tank that she lost all interest in me. She climbed up in it in her nice dress and look at all the little moving parts. She was so excited. I, on the other hand, was pretty put out. But, that’s how it usually happened. I found all kinds of great places. There was the tank, there was a place near the wave labs where it sounded like you were at the beach. On of my favorites was the hyproponics labs, in these quaint little greenhouses that gurgled and steamed and smelled nice next to the causeway that was filled with singing frogs in the spring.

    I hated living in Mississippi at the time, but the farther I get away from it, the funnier it all seems. The anger fades, but the quirky goofiness of being a Yankee and Mormon in the deepest, darkest cranny of the Bible belt, living in a house built by German POWs on an Army Station filled with experiments and labs filled with science and weirdness shines through. I’ve got stories to last a lifetime, like teaching high school civics, creating a winter drama at the school that I starred in – and wore a dress in, the time I drove around town with the town’s first ever black mayor and asked him tough questions about Vicksburg, and all the stupid things my brother and I did to keep ourselves sane. I don’t ever want to go back, except maybe for some blues and barbecue, but I don’t really regret living there.

  • A Cheerleader for Death

    Michelle’s at it again, blasting someone who’s lamenting us killing Uday and Qusay Hussein. Now, I’m not sad they’re dead. But, it would have been nice to capture them alive and put them on trial for their crimes. They could even be tried by the new Iraqi Governing Council, as a show that they do actually have some power. I don’t see how people can view these two psychopaths’ deaths as a victory for the President. He didn’t find them, corner them, or shoot them. The military did. The military, and most likely military intelligence, deserve the credit for this one, plain and simple. No matter what the President says, we’re still at war in Iraq. It’s a different phase of the war, but still war. Claiming military victories or losses as political capital is the height of hypocrisy, no matter which side of center your politics lie.

    Michelle says she’s a cheerleader for the deaths of those who want us dead. I hope that’s hyperbole. I’d rather be a cheerleader for justice. I would love to see Saddam and those that worked for him face the people of Iraq and be held accountable for their crimes. That’s justice. Just killing people who disagree with us is the bully’s way out, and just saying, “Well, we’re the biggest and strongest so we’re right” isn’t a justifiable reason.

    Justice is more important than death. Seeing someone dead doesn’t mean their influence has died. Killing someone in battle makes them a martyr to their supporters. Trying them in front of an impartial court (ok, for the Hussein family, that could be difficult) makes them guilty, and decreases their “Martyrability”. If everyone can see their crimes laid out in the bright lights of a court room, it becomes that much harder for reasonable people to support them. The unreasonable and zealots will support them no matter what (just look at the militia movement and Tim McVeigh), but they’re not really who we should be trying to persuade. The reasonable people in Iraq and the Middle East need to see that we’re not butchers. We’re offering them something better – the rule of law. We’re offering them self-determination and freedoms that they’ve never experienced. Once the people of Iraq can see that, and we can convince them (and ourselves) that we’re not there for our own selfish purposes, we’ll be on our way to stability and peace.

    I understand that the Brothers Hussein put up a fight, so their deaths were probably unavoidable. I’m not blaming anyone involved in the firefight for their deaths. They acted as they should have – they returned fire. It think would have been better had they been taken alive and stood trial. Am I glad they’re no longer going to kill, torture and maim their people? Yeah, I am. I wish they could have been put on trial first though.

  • A Challenge for GW?

    Most of you know me as a pretty left-leaning kind of guy. I honestly didn’t start out that way. I was raised Republican (not that politics was religion in my house – we rarely talked about it, but my parents are both on the Right), and voted for George Bush the Elder in ’94, and voted for John McCain in the 2000 Republican Primary. Trent Lott, Newt Gingrich, George W. and John Ashcroft forced me out of the GOP for good. But, I still have a lot of respect for a lot of Senators on the right, and don’t think Republicans are evil. I think the party has been taken over by the Religious Right and the Neo-Conservatives and that concerns me. The moderate voice of the party has been effectively silenced.

    This should change. There are some good ideas on the moderate Right, especially when it comes to the now forsaken idea of fiscal responsibility and I would love a bipartisan moderate majority in the Senate (I have no hope for the House) and a moderate Democrat or Republican in the White House. George W. Bush, with all of his “compassionate” conservatism he touted during the 2000 campaign is far removed from anything that smells like compassion. There is hope! What hope, you ask? Let’s get someone to run against GW in 2004! I nominate John McCain and John Warner. They both have better qualifications on national security and defense (because whoever inherits the White House after GW better be able to handle this mess) than the current President. They’re both moderate and have proven track records of bipartisanship, and they’re both willing to buck the party line and go with their conscience.

    I know, I’m crazy. I’m still recovering from the flu, but you know, I’d be willing to sacrifice the chance to vote for Howard Dean in the VA Primary if I could vote for John McCain again and show that it’s time to abandon the radical fringes of the Republican party and move towards the center with the great majority of the country.

  • Sick Movies

    Yes, I’m still sick. I couldn’t get to sleep until four AM this morning, and then, when I do wake up, I see that someone posted SPAM in my comments!!! Of course, it’s been deleted now, but that was not the way I wanted to start my sick day. I’m pretty tired of feeling crappy. I think that tomorrow, no matter how I feel, I’ll just deny that I’m sick and go back to work and pretend I’m fine.

    I was going to do the weekend entertainment roundup, but I’m gonna go lay down and watch an action movie on DVD (this weekend, we watched The Recruit, NARC, and The Lost World – we’re recording Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, which may be more crappy action than I can handle). I’m considering Twister. I’m not up for thinking.. so more Homicide is definitely not in order. Jen and I have this concept of good “sick movies”, of which Air Force One is probably the consensus winner for best sick movie of all time, followed closely by my personal all-time favorites, Jaws and The Great Escape. Sick Movies should be fun, full of action and should be either so rewatched that you know exactly what’s going to happen next and the story just washes over you. Right, got it? Ok, off I go. Wish me luck.

  • Queer Eye for the Straight Guy: It’s Faboo!

    Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is fab-u-lous. We watched out first episode this morning (while I languished on the couch with a headache), and it was great. Haven’t seen it? Ok, these five gay guys, each with a diffferent specialty (there’s the host/personal grooming guy, fashion consultant, food guy, and decorators) take on a poor boorish breeder (best gay insult ever) and turn them into fashion-conscious renaissance men by showing them that there are finer things in life than fast food and Wal-Mart deck chairs.

    The guy on this episode was so into it. He was trying to do something nice for his wife, who was tired of his old t-shirts, poor personal grooming and their mess of a house. She went away, and the fairy-god-queers (they call themselves the Fab Five, and they are faboo) went to work, teaching poor Adam all about spa treatments, cooking, furniture and keeping it together. While there were moments of really funny cattiness, the five guys were there to help (unlike the mean-spirited American version of What Not To Wear), and were overjoyed at the progress Adam made.

    It was funny, cute and educational… It’s definitely going on the Season Pass list! Oh, and yeah, I should probably apply to be a victim on the show. I could use the help.

  • Great Idea – A Better Browser

  • Funny Colors

    My mom watched Max yesterday. Uncle Steve played with him outside in the kiddie pool. Steve’s camera’s not so great (it’s really old). But there’s something familiar about the distorted colors that makes me think of old Kodachrome shots from the 70’s. I must still be sick (yep, still have a fever… lucky me!).

  • Sick

    Sick, I am. Sick like a dog who’s sick. Sick like a joke that’s sick. I’m feverish, fatigued and unfortunately at work. I took Tuesday off, went home early yesterday to sleep, but here I am today, like a trooper. I’m sure I’m infecting everyone. I read an article in this month’s Smithsonian about the West Nile Virus, and now I’ve got all the symptoms. Am I a hypochondriac? Was I just in line to get sick? What’s wrong with me?

    My goodness, is it hot in here? I wish I had a thermometer…

  • Another AOL Journals Demo

    I was there for this one too. It was a little weirder than the one in New York, because we outnumbered the Six Apart crew three to one, which made for a little more imposing vibe in the room than I would have liked. Aside from the technical difficulties of a constantly over-heating projector (damn you, cost-cutting!), it went well.\
    I even got to suck up a little… I’m a Typepad beta tester (I’m not sure that went over like I intended… I said it anyway).

  • Easy Meatballs for Fun and Profit

    I made meatballs tonight. I made them once before and made way too big a deal out of them. They’re frightfully easy to make (shhh, don’t tell anyone), and will impress your spouse, date, friends, boss, or whoever you have to cook for. Here’s my quick and easy recipe that leaves lots and lots of room for substitutions, replacements and deletions. There are only a couple required elements: ground meat of some kind (sausage, ground beef, veal or turkey or some combination thereof), an egg, and some fairly dry shredded cheese (parmesan, dry mozzarella, etc).

    The Directions:

    1. In a mixing bowl, add one egg, garlic to taste (1/4 teaspoon to start), a healthy dash of pepper and two shakes of salt. Whisk until egg is scrambled, but good.

    2. Now, I have a food processor, and like throwing a little veggie matter in my meatballs. For example, tonight I took some mushroom pieces and half a vidalia onion and threw them in the food processor until they were in itty bitty chunks, and then added them to the bowl. I’ve tried green peppers, but their high water content kinda screwed up the consistency o’ de balls. Play around and see what you see. If you come up with something really good, let me know.

    3. Now, add about a pound of your ground meat to the bowl, along with a handful of your cheese (tonight it was the four-cheese Italian blend from the grocery store. Last time, I did a nice mix of freshly grated parmesan and pecorino. Fancy, boring, it’s up to you.

    4. Before you mix everything up (which is coming, don’t worry), throw a large skillet on the stove and turn the fire on somewhere between medium and medium high. Dump a couple tablespoons of olive oil in the pan and let it heat up (this isn’t an exact science… should be enough to put a thin coating on the bottom of the skillet).

    5. While the pan is heating up wash your hands, then go over to your bowl o’ stuff and dig in. Mix up everything so it’s of pretty even consistency throughout and everything’s mixed in nicely.

    6. Next, take your bowl of mess over to the stove. It’s time to make meatballs!! My meatballs usually end up about the size of ping-pong balls, but hey, your balls may be larger or smaller. It’s really up to you.

    7. Fill the skillet with your balls, and let them brown almost completely on the side you put them on. Be sure to flip them over a few times to get each side of your eventually slightly lop-sided pyramids cooked. It usually takes about 15 minutes (five minutes between flippings) to finish the whole pan.

    Meatballs freeze really well but we usually make just enough for one meal. After they’re cooked all the way through and we’ve sampled one or two, we dump in our favorite tomato-based sauce (Jen makes a great one), let it simmer while the pasta cooks and then fall into a meatball-induced stupor. For something so easy to make, they’re heavenly. If you’ve got any meatball-related suggestions, I’d love to hear ’em.