Author: Kevin Lawver

  • Possible New Title

    Possible new titles for this site:

    • Working at the Speed of Stupid

    • Tired Beyond All Recognition

    • More Round Than Square

    • UltraNormal (there’s a great graphic that goes with this one)

    • The Bags Under His Eyes Say What They Feel

    • Sleeping With Feeling

    Can you tell I’m really really tired? Not getting a weekend really messed me up. I havent’ slept well in almost a week and just feel like I’m under this gigantic weight all the time. Yep, definitely time for a nap.

  • Everything… Dumb

    Today, everything is dumb. Why? ‘Cuz, it’s all dumb. That’s just the way it is. I’m dumb; you’re dumb; it’s dumb; they’re dumb; we’re all dumb together.

    We can be smart tomorrow. Today, it’s all dumb.

  • The Daily Show Taping: Recap (Part 1)

    • 45 minutes in the car

    • Three Metro trains

    • 6 flights of stairs

    • .5 mile walk

    • 3 hours in line

    • Seeing Jon Stewart’s hairy legs: Priceless

    It was a trek getting there, and standing in line forever was a pain (in the feet to be precise). The show was very funny (much funnier live than on TV). Once we all got in the studio, one of the The Daily Show writers, J.R., came out to “warm us up”. We obviously needed it because we’d all been standing for three hours. He was actually really funny. He did the “hey, and where are YOU from?” bit and ragged on some audience members for a little while. Then, Jon came out and took questions. He was funny and seemed genuine, which is really his whole schtick now. He pulls off the “aww, shucks, I’m a normal guy” act so well, I’m not sure it’s an act. The show finally started (about an hour and fifteen minutes later than they planned). They did the opening of the show, then someone in the control room screwed up and we had to start over (so if you watch the rerun tonight, the first five minutes aren’t as enthusiastic – it’s because we’d heard those jokes already). During the down time during the screw-up and the commercial breaks (which they actually run tape through. They don’t pick up right away), Jon talked to the corespondants, who were standing in front of green screens on either side of the studio. He had a really funny exchange with Stephen Colbert. Then, the studio music started up (thumpy radio rock) and Stephen Colbert and Ed Helms did a nifty little bump and grind routine together while Moe Rocca (who went to high school with a friend of mine) did a weird “Ooh, look at me, I wear a bow tie and am from Georgetown” dance that involved a lot of kicking.

    The guest was Senator John Edwards from North Carolina. He was as funny as you expect a real politician to be (as opposed to those rare exceptions like John McCain, Bob Dole and Barney Frank), and is obviously already running for President. Jen says he has her vote because “he’s dreamy”.

    I think I’ll hold the other Daily Show stories until later. I’m still under water at work and don’t think I’m coming up for air anytime soon.

    And as an added bonus, you can read Action Comics #1 online! Thank you, Internet!

  • The Remodeler’s Prayer

    I wish I’d had Alison’s Dad’s remodeling prayer when we did all that painting.

    Yes, we went to the Daily Show taping last night. I’m working on my writeup now, and should post it soon. Work is still crazy with that thing I spent all weekend on, which I also may write about later.

  • Bittersweet Motel

    I’m sitting here watching Bittersweet Motel waiting for Sunday Night Football to come on, and my headache to leave. It’s the Phish concert movie. It has some really funny interviews with the band and live and (odd) other versions of the songs from my favorite album: Billy Breathes. It’s an interesting portrait of the band. They’re all so New England quirky (as opposed to Southern Quirky… sorry, this is a stupid line, but I’m too tired to backspace).

    The band is releasing a lot of their live shows on CD this fall, most importantly, the Halloween shows where they pick another band’s album to cover. I really want to hear their cover of The White Album and Remain in the Light by the Talking Heads. Hear that folks? Good Christmas present ideas… or Hannukah or Thanksgiving even.

  • What a Waste of a Perfectly Good Saturday

    So, I spent eight hours at work today, and that was too long for a beautiful Saturday. I took enough time to take Jen and Max to the Dominion Brewery for lunch. The service was pretty bad, but the food, root beer and ginger ale were good. It’s funny. The place is way back in this industrial park near work (turn left twice and look for the empty kegs) where no one would happen on it by accident. Once you get inside though, it’s this nice little restaurant with big windows looking in on the brewery and bottling areas.

    The sandwiches are pretty tasty and the boneless chicken wings are awesome. But, the whole reason to go is their root beer and ginger ale, made on the premises. It’s divine. I got Max a root beer (which I don’t think he’s ever had before) and he went nuts for it. I had to hide it from him so he wouldn’t drink it all at once.

    And here I am at 9:30 on a Saturday night. My wife and son are asleep and I’m watching Donnie Darko again. I was right the first time, it’s a great film. It doesn’t make sense, and it really doesn’t have to. The performances and feel of the movie just work so well. Just amazing. If you haven’t seen it, it’s on Cinemax now, so TiVo it, rent it, buy it, do whatever you have to to watch this film. You won’t regret it, even if it’s just to see Patrick Swayze play a totally convincing motivational speaker, and SparkleMotion.

  • Doin’ Stuff

    There’s so much to say and so little time. I’ll be working all weekend on this huge thing that I can’t tell you about, so I won’t be here. I’ll be around, somewhere, doing things.

  • You Had That Too?

    I thought I was the only kid who found magazines in the woods. Surprise, surprise. I don’t know how those things get out there, but I guess it’s a porn scavenger hunt out there. I think it’s the Porn Bunny. The Porn Bunny smokes cigarillos, wears a green dealer’s visor and wears deck shoes on his enormous feet. He has gray fur and a bald spot between his ears that he tries to hide with an unconvincing combover.

    It was my first exposure to nekkid ladies (nekkid = naked with intent). I’ve said too much already… You’ll never pry it out of me!!! I’ll take the secrets of the woods behind Alice Drive Elementary to my grave!

    Ok, it wasn’t that bad, and probably not as scarring as walking in on my parents or anything. It was almost clinical. I was in fourth or fifth grade and just starting to notice girls as more than friends. Then, my friend (not sure who it was and I won’t guess as to only incriminate myself) told me about a secret stash of dirty pictures in the woods. So, we went on a quest. We found them, and after much giggling and ewwwwwww-ing, we put them back and never went back (well, I didn’t).

    So, there you go: the beginning of the de-innocence-ification of Kevin. Next time, I’ll tell you about my first kiss and other embarrassing moments during puberty. Or not.

  • Two Loons

    I can’t believe I said “loon” twice in my comment on Reid’s sniper tipline post. Yeah, I said I’d avoid mentioning the sniper stuff, but that was the last post and this is a new one.

  • A Sniper-Lite Post

    I’m going to try to avoid ranting today. It’s going to hard because I was dumb last night and watched John Walsh on Larry King last night. But, I will say no more. I will instead tell you what I’ve been doing while trying to avoid cable news and my paranoid fear of being clipped while getting into or out of my car, and the gut wrenching thought that it might happen to my wife or son.

    Max and I have a new favorite show. TLC has decided to combine Junkyard Wars and Battlebots to create the perfect television experience. Full Metal Challenge was an extreme amount of fun. Max almost lost it when he saw the cars run into the big bowling pins. He clapped and jumped up and down and cheered, counting at Max Volume 10, “1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 PINS!!” When I wasn’t enthralled with watching that little Chilean car beat the crap out of the other two huge monsters, I was laughing at Max and egging him on. When they blew up the third place car (in the only truly lame part of the show, in my opinion), Max cheered and yelled, “BOOM!” I have never had so much fun watching TV with my son. Thank goodness it was TiVo‘ed because Max wanted to watch it again last night. He was just as excited last night when we watched it again. I’m going to record Junkyard Wars tonight and see if he likes it. There isn’t as much action, but there is still the blowtorching, greasy goodness of geeks and their machines.

    In other geekly news, I’m starting to fall in love with Java and JSP’s. Yes, I know, I never thought I’d say it either, but I really dig being able to separate everything I don’t want to write into a servlet and do JUST the display stuff in the JSP. The only ugly thing so far is closing if/while type statements. It’s hard to keep those hanging }’s tab-aligned properly (because I’m nothing if not anal about my tabs). Other than that, it’s a lot of fun. I’m still at the hunt and peck stage where I have to go to my two trusty books, O’Reilly’s great JavaServer Pages and Java in a Nutshell for answers where in Tcl I pretty much have everything memorized and writing it is no harder than the writing I’m doing now. In Tcl, it’s all about style and the best way to do it. In Java and JSP now, it’s how to do it at all, nevermind the “best” way. For a while, I’ll have to say, “I don’t know if we can do that”. In Tcl, I can say with authority, “No way” or “Sure, that’s easy” (because in Tcl it’s either impossible or trivial… no idea why that is). I’ll get there. It took me about two months in Tcl, writing something every day, to be able to start thinking more about the problem I’m trying to solve than the code I have to write to solve it. I figure Java’s a little more complex and the syntax is foreign, so it’ll take me maybe three months to get totally comfortable.

    I also found an odd bug on this site yesterday. For each post on the homepage, the text would drift to the left for every paragraph tag. This doesn’t happen in Mozilla, and I’m having a hard time understanding why IE would do it. So, for now I’ve just set the left margin to 15, which seems to keep the text from running over the left edge. The other weird IE-ism today is form padding. If you have a form tag outside a div, IE decides that you want padding around it. The only way to get rid of it is to style the form tag with padding:0 and margin:0. How weird is that? Again, Mozilla doesn’t do this. IE for both Windows and OS X do. Again, odd.