Going to raspberry the world

Months ago, Kevin and I decided to stop attending the LDS Church over their support of anti-gay rights legislation. This probably doesn’t come as a shock to most of you, but it actually is a really big deal.\
We talked to the kids about this and they understand as best as they can. We are planning to continue to pray when we want, draw inspiration from the Scriptures, abstain from alcohol, disavow divorce, avoid sleeping with hookers, refrain from becoming crack addicts, and basically try to be good people. We told our families and the news was probably met with much disappointment. (My parents aren’t members of the Church but I know they are saddened to hear about our struggles.)\
We have been struggling with this particular issue for years. The Church isn’t going to change its mind regardless of what we think. While the Church has seen numerous changes in the past, its handling of this issue seems different.\
I joined the Church over 15 years ago and expected it to be a lifelong commitment. There have been times when it has been rough and times when it has been great. It is difficult to do everything the Church asks, but it felt like a worthy struggle. Kind of like marriage. Or, the typical idea of marriage where there are fights and happiness and bad times and good times and all that. (Kevin and I aren’t like that though, and marriage has been much better than I ever anticipated, but that is a post for another day). Since my commitment to the Church was supposed to be lifelong… I sort of feel like I am getting divorced. As much as I decry divorce in most cases, there do exist times when it is acceptable and even prudent.\
So, blah.\
I hate the idea of being ex-Mormon. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. But, I can’t stand the thought of continuing to attend and support the LDS Church.\
Objectively, I am thankful that the Church got me through my college years. Maybe I just needed it then and “don’t” now. (Though I am not sure it is possible to not need a church, a community.) It helped me make decisions that kept me safe. It gave me many opportunities to grow and lead and learn and teach. It gave me friends who felt like family and family who felt like friends. It gave me purpose and direction in my life at a critical point between adolescence and adulthood. It led me to Kevin.\
I don’t know what this decision means for my future, my marriage, my kids’ futures, and I am honestly worried about it. I don’t know how to teach the kids to abstain from premarital sex and alcohol without the Church to back me up. It’s not that I think either of those two things are inherently EVIL! Just that… there is just so much unnecessary heartache attached to those two activities that I want to protect my kids from.\
So, yeah.\
I can’t imagine going through something like this without Kevin feeling the same way I do. I am not sure how that happened, but I am really grateful for it.\
ETA- Some people/media are choosing to bring up other issues with the Church, since it is a hot topic right now. I don’t like this and don’t want to hear [other] bad things about the Church.

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Categorized as religion

Heretics

I listen to a lot of podcasts on my commute. The Heretics episode of This American Life hit close to home this week. I’ve been grappling with my faith now for a while, and there’s so much other stuff going on in my life right now that I keep pushing it into the background. But, this episode, about a Pentecostal minister who no longer believes in Hell and how his personal religious transformation affected those around him and his congregation, has been keeping me thinking.\
I am a heretic now. I’ve been one in a lot of little ways for a while, but certainly not publicly, and not in any serious way. But now? I’m sure I’ve crossed the line, and I’m not sure what that means exactly. Unfortunately, right now, I don’t have time to figure it all out. But you should go listen to the show. It’s a good one.

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Categorized as religion

Epic Post of Life!

Brian says things incorrectly, like, “S starts with scooter, ” and “B starts with balloon.” He also says, “I need to wear socks for my feet to not get cold.” I don’t know how to fix this. I’ve read that you shouldn’t correct kids sentences, but instead should repeat the sentence back to them correctly. He also refuses to use “I” at home, instead saying, “Me want juice,” and “Me want to go, too.” He does use “I” at school, so I know he is teachable. Maybe I just need to be more firm (about everything, I am sure). Of course he also says, “Why you dood that?” (The past tense of do, of course.)\
I am happy to report that Brian will now wipe his own butt. WOOT. This was facilitated by the kiddie flushable wipes left behind at Babba’s house by Kevin’s brother’s family over Thanksgiving break. Babba stuck them in the back of our van and told us to take them home. Score for us! (Hello, TMI. Hope he doesn’t want to be president someday.)\
Max was invited to join the Philosophy and Art club/class/thingie at school. He is the only 3rd grader to be asked, as it is only open to 4th and 5th graders. Whee. I am really excited for him.\
Kevin said that he wanted to eat less meat, so I gave him a dinner of a baked sweet potato, broccoli, and hard boiled eggs. That is the last time he’ll say anything like that, I bet. 🙂 Tonight is meatless spaghetti sauce with pasta. That he won’t mind.\
I have been feeling much better since starting the new medicine, which was also about the time Brian started school (no coincidence, I am sure). And it shows: the house is clean, the laundry is done and put away, and I have been cooking.\
Speaking of cooking: Cookie rec time! My grocery store oatmeal, cranberry, walnut break-and-bake cookie dough. It is soooo good. Run to your store, tomorrow, and check it out! We like to make homemade Christmassy cookies, focusing our energy on the cool stuff, and then fill in the platter with cookies from premade dough, since they are available in more typical-cookie flavors.\
Today is A Day Without Gays, which I forgot about until I signed on this morning. Supporters are asked to not go to work, not go shopping, and not use the tv or internet. I couldn’t keep my husband home from work, even though I wanted to, but I did manage to send him off with a brown bag lunch. I sent my kids to school even though I could’ve kept them home. It made the decision between going Xmas shopping and doing laundry really easy and I stayed away from the net for half of the day until I caved. Have you seen any difference today?\
It’s kind of sad that I couldn’t stay offline for an entire day, right? I even took a two-hour nap solely to facilitate this! I have a book that I was planning on curling up with, in between loads of laundry, but really? I need to be online. It’s a drug. An obsession. A vital part of my daily life, ok? OK!\
Good thing I caved though because when I checked my email I found out that our landlord has declared bankruptcy and the bank is now trying to sell the house. I am not sure this puts us in a more precarious position than before, since we were always in a precarious position, but it feels more imminent and there are now new people with which to coordinate things.\
Poking around Craigslist, I found this house for only \$50 more a month:\
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Kevin is in love with the kitchen:\
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It has 3200 sq feet, 4 bedrooms, formal living room, family room, sun room, and bonus room (and of course all the other necessities, heh). The inside is full of upgrades like wood floors, cherry wood cabinets, and built-in book shelves. It has a fenced, corner lot. AND IT IS IN THE RIGHT SCHOOL ZONE!! The problem is that after living in a house like that for a year, it would be really depressing to buy and move into the type of house we could really afford. But WOW. What a house.\
I have inside information, ha!, that Paula Deen is moving to our island. Maybe I will see her at Kroger? We have a local restuarant that serves better food than her “Lady and Sons,” according to Kevin. Maybe I will see her there? Wouldn’t that be a hoot?\
The weather here has been really weird lately. It is warm outside, but cold inside. Someone explain that to me, when we aren’t using the air conditioner. I’ve been thinking about taking the kids to the beach. It’s been over a month since we’ve been!\
This is my last edit, I promise. It started with one little error and then ballooned into a monster, I know. Sorry. But not really. Hee.

Join the Impact: We Marched in Jacksonville!

jen holding her 'this mormon is for gay rights' poster

The rest of the pics are here. Unlike most other events I attend, I spent more time “present” than taking pictures. The stories from committed couples, many of whom have been together for decades, were both inspiring and heart-breaking.\
To me, this isn’t about whether or not homosexuality is right or wrong, it’s about allowing people to pursue their happiness, a right this country was founded on. Their love is no threat to my marriage or anyone else’s. These people are our neighbors, relatives, friends and fellow citizens. They deserve to share their lives and enjoy the same rights that married heterosexual couples enjoy. They deserve the public recognition of their love that I enjoy with Jen.\
The rest of the arguments are cover for something else, whether it’s ignorance, hate or some other motive, it doesn’t matter. Treating people as something less than full members of society for who they love is wrong.\
I’m really glad we went, and I’m so proud of Jen for getting up in front of a bunch of strangers and telling them how sorry she was for how our church has treated them by supporting Prop 8 in California, Prop 2 in Florida and the measures in Arkansas and Arizona. This won’t be the last time we protest, I’m sure. I’m just hoping we can march in Savannah next time.

Have you heard?

There is a national protest against Prop 8 on Saturday, November 15, being held in almost one hundred cities across the nation. This is, at heart, a civil rights issue and it is unconscionable that we are still treating some people as second-class citizens given that this is “the land of the free” in the 21st century.\
We’re roadtripping down to Jacksonville for tomorrow’s protest. YAY for roadtrips! Ooh, I should make a couple of new mix CDs. I bet Kevin would love that. Our power will be out tomorrow, so I’ve put off grocery shopping and we are out of milk (the unopened jug in the back was from 2 weeks ago- oops), which means no cereal, no eggs, no pancakes, no toast for breakfast. I am going to make “breakfast” bags of pb and j sandwiches, apples, and juice boxes that we can eat in the car.\
Kevin suggested I blog about tv shows you should be watching, so here it goes. Watch Friday Night Lights! This season feels a lot like the first. It is so heart-warming and just wonderful. It’s unlike anything else on tv right now. So, watch it! For those without the special Direct Tv hook up, you can watch in January. Also watch How I Met Your Mother! It’s funny and also heartwarming. Apparently I am in the mood for warm fuzzies lately, though I do have to admit that the Terminator show was totally KICK ASS this week. Umm, that is all, continue about your business [making plans for tomorrow’s protest].