Category: daily tedium

So, I kind of lost it today. I’ve been in the process of losing it for over a month. I was in an emergency meeting for four hours today and was a raging ass. I couldn’t stop myself. I had to yell and point and turn red. I got a headache that’s now ten hours old and shows no sign of slowing down. I’m exhausted and sick to my stomach.

When I signed up for this job, I knew it would be more reponsibility. I had no idea how much, most of it unplanned, and thrust on me by circumstances.

Three more days, and then I think my pager will have an unfortunate accident in the toilet. Rest in peace, pager.

Church today was fairly tedious. The youth just got back from an apparently moving trip to Ohio, and the first half of the meeting was some teenagers being called on to come up and give their impressions impromtu-like. It was deadening. My favorite was a teenage guy who got up and said “awesome” about 30 times. He mumbled through the rest of whatever he said. The general point thought could be summed up as, “It is my testimony that it was awesome.”

And that made the rest of it all worth it. I will be using that line until the day I die.

“I do solemnly swear that the testimony I am about to give shall be awesome, the whole awesome, and nothing but awesome, so help me, dude.”

Much too tired to say anything of much worth. But, if you want to see what I’ve been working on for the past two months (well, you won’t see most of it, but it’s there), check it out.

It’s been a hellacious month and a half, with three major projects coming to a head at the same time, 70 frontends (not all done by me, but using stuff I wrote), 12 API’s, and a crapload of last minute fixes happening in the space of one week. I’m not sure how I’ve survived. A few more things in QA that don’t amount to anywhere near the stress of the first 65 and a couple major launches and I’m all done. Then… my vacation. I think I’m going to spend it in a “hospital” recovering from my ever-growing addiction to Code Red, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Fila Brazillia and Loop Guru.

The Other Side and Whim & Vinegar, another blogging couple to go with Dean and Gail and Kottke and Meg. They’re new to me, having just found them this morning, but it’s always interesting to me when couples blog. Dean and Gail are a lot of fun because they’re excellent writers and sometimes discuss their relationship, which is just fascinating to see from both sides.

Are there other blogging couples I’ve missed? I’m sure there are… there HAVE to be!

It’s 8:30pm and I’m still at work. That makes a 12 hour work day for me. Do I get some kind of badge, maybe a cookie?

Not the title I would have given it, but I’ve never seen a picture that more accurate reflects my mood. Remove the paddle, and it’s exactly how I fee.

Have you ever been stuck in emergency mode so long that nothing at all feels important? Work has been maddening, with everyone claiming top priority and not allowing time for rational thought before the problem must be solved in the shortest amount of time and with little to no testing. It’s a hideous way to work, and I’ve finally gotten so sick of it that today I refused to make a fix until someone had a list of problems longer than 1. I won’t go in and touch anymore code with justification and a real list of goals. I give up. My patience is at an end. I’m out of emergency juice.

Because I’m stupid, I wore a black t-shirt and jeans out today. It was 94 degrees outside with 75-85% humidity. I’m exhausted, and I didn’t even do anything other than load the car with the new shelves I bought downstairs and load the groceries. If I weren’t so pale (and fat), I swear I’d go out naked.

Yessiree Bob, Movable Type is now installed on this site, and everything has been migrated over. How cool is that? The only problem was importing. It refused to do all 653 entries at once, and I had to break up the files. I think we’re golden now. There may be some duplicate entries, but I can live with that.

So, if this turns out to be more than a witchhunt… we’re screwed.

My vacation is coming up in a couple weeks (8/3 in fact). I don’t have an agenda yet. Jen has a bunch of ideas, like putting up shelves or finally decorating our bedroom. Nothing’s speaking to me though. I feel like Ron Livington’s character in Office Space. I want to do … nothing. I want to watch movies, maybe read a book, play some games, take walks with Max, and do nothing.

I think I may be depressed. There, I said it. I’m just not crazy about doing anything. Maybe it’s just a transitional thing because of my new job. Maybe it’s because my new job isn’t exactly what I thought it would be, which I think is mostly my fault. I haven’t been as motivated to get ahead and set the big vision, because I’m not on fire like I used to be. I’m reacting, and doing what I have to, but beyond that, it’s hard to get excited. Let’s hope it’s just exhaustion and my vacation will take care of charging me back up.

And in happy news, other than going out to lunch with Jen, Max and Mom today, I have had a salad every work day since last Monday. Getting used to all the green leafy stuff has caused a bit of a toilet tissue shortage, but other than that, the transition has been painless.