Category: family

My little brother asked me this week what it would take to set up a blog. He played right into my trap. It took twenty minutes to set up the new domain, MySQL db, an hour to wait while Dreamhost got them all set up, then another 10 minutes to install and configure Textpattern. I’m still getting used to Textpattern (the look is all my fault), so look for changes, and maybe a real domain name in the future. With all that said, I proudly present, my little brother, compatriot, super pal and best friend: Tim (the mighty).

“Love begins as a sonnet, but it eventually turns in to a grocery list, Therefore you need someone with whom you can go to the supermarket.”
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-Joel Achenbach (via bazima

Our friends frequently tell Jen that we have a good marriage. I agree. Why? Because even at the grocery store, we’re having a good time. Not just that, but even a trip to the DMV is fun when we’re together.

That fun translates to conflict resolution, making decisions and life in general. We get along. We’re in love (going on seven years, even). And all that said, we’re not stupid about it. We know we both have little niggling annoying traits. We ignore them for the most part, laugh about them, and then accept them.

I can’t imagine doing this marriage thing with anyone else… Love you, sweetie.

Max gets to ask questions every night as part of his bedtime ritual. It’s fun, sometimes funny, and tonight was pretty rambunctious. Max also has three paintings on his wall, a plane, sailboat and a steam engine.

Max likes to ask me how trains work. The usual answer goes something like, “Well, that big red part is the boiler. There’s a lot of water in there that is heated up by a coal fire. That turns a turbine, which turns the wheels, which makes the train go forward.” Yeah, that’s pretty much it. But, tonight, Max asked how the Ha-Ha Train works. This was a new one. Here’s my answer.

The Ha-Ha Train runs on laughter. There’s no engine, just a car with comfortable chairs, cold drinks, and lots of popcorn and candy. There’s a comedian who stands at the front of the car telling jokes. When people laugh, the train goes. When they don’t, it stays still. When they’re laughing really hard, the train chugs along, “Chuckle, chuckle, HA HA. Chuckle, chuckle, HA HA,” down the tracks it goes.

This answer was followed by tickling, which made Max go “Heeee heeee heee heee, heh heh heh heh,” and me go, “Chuckle chuckle, HA HA.”

First it was the front page of USA Today and several other papers, now my little sister is on the front page of the MIT Technology Review. Go read the article: Why Heather Can Write.

And to think, she used to eat dirt…

6 years ago today, she became my wife, and we haven’t stopped laughing. It’s been the shortest and longest six years of my life. Shortest, because it still feels like we’re newlyweds, even though we’ve got a four year old son. Longest, because life before her is a distant grey memory.

She is more than I could have ever dreamed of in a wife. She’s smart, funny, my better, and she loves football more than I do. She TiVo’s games, and even though she frequently knows the score, will watch the games on Monday while I’m at work just to “see the plays”. She always speaks her mind and doesn’t play those silly games some women like to play. She’s not coy or too sweet. She’s the perfect mix of caring, sarcasm, blunt honesty and a shady diplomat who always gets her way – without manipulation – just because she’s so damned right all the time.

Today is 1/23/04. The next “lineup” year is 1/23/45 – which will be our forty-seventh anniversary. May we make it there, with more wrinkles, some grandkids, a lot of friends, and laughing the whole time. I love you, sweetie. Happy anniversary!!

You know, I don’t talk about religion much here. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t interest me. Until now, it’s been because I’m not comfortable talking about it, and I’m still not. I’ve never felt like a “good Mormon” before. I still don’t think of myself as “normal”, but I’ve realized recently that you can be a member in good standing and not be like everyone else (I know, I’m an idiot for not realizing this sooner, but I just never thought about it before). There is room in the Church for all kinds of people, weak, strong, stalwart and slack. We all have a role to play, and we’re all trying to be good people.

What I’m dying to write about, I just can’t bring myself to start typing. I’m not sure why, but I know I don’t want to offend anyone. I’m not sure how to express what I want without it sounding overly harsh. I’m going to go ahead and write it, apologizing ahead a time if you are offended by what I write. The last thing I intend for this is to offend. I just want to explain how I feel and what I’m thinking. If you disagree, you’re welcome to post a comment or e-mail me.

I have a problem with religion. By saying that, I don’t mean I have a problem with the Gospel: the teachings of Jesus Christ. I have a problem with the culture of exclusion, shame, guilt and even hate I see in the religious world around me. I can’t stop thinking about Fred Phelps, and his plan to erect a monument declaring Mathew Sheppard’s eternal damnation in his hometown. I can’t stop thinking about the fundamentalists who see to rely heavily on the Old Testament to justify their hatred of those different from them, while ignoring conflicting statements from the Savior himself in the New Testament. I can’t stop thinking about my own religion, and the culture inside it. A culture that I thought I could never belong to because I don’t think like everyone else. I thought you had to be a Republican to be a good Mormon. Of course, I was wrong. I may be wrong about the Fundamentalists, but from the people I’ve known over the years who self-identify themselves that way, I don’t think I am.

Here’s what I believe. I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. I believe he lived, walked on early, suffered for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane and died on the cross. I believe that three days after his death, he was resurrected. I believe that after he left the Apostles and ascended to his Father, that the world fell into apostasy, and the truth was lost from the Earth. I believe that many of the pure, sacred and simple truths of Christ’s work on the Earth was lost, either through mistranslation or deliberate works of unscrupulous scribes to mold scripture to fit their political needs. I believe that the Bible we have to today is good, but that there are pieces of it that are no longer accurate.

I believe that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is about love, not hate. I believe that it is not our place to pass judgement on any of our fellow children of God. I believe that we were each given our own particular burdens to bear, and that our goal on this earth is to turn those burdens into talents – to do our best to overcome our own particular weakness and make them strengths. In realizing this, I know that I’m doing poorly enough on my own that I have neither the time nor the right to pass judgement on others in their struggle. There is no room for hate in the Gospel. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. In loving one another, I believe it is our responsibility to love them as they are, to accept them, love them and support them. We may believe the things people do are wrong, but that doesn’t give us the right to proclaim their damnation, their punishment or exclude them from society.

I believe that in 1820, Joseph Smith prayed in a grove of trees, asking our Heavenly Father for guidance about which church he should attend (more info). That prayer started the process that resulted in the Book of Mormon and the formation of the church that I belong to today. I believe this to be true. I know it in my heart to be true. There was a good long while there where I couldn’t say that. And why am I telling you this? Well, I’m not sure. I just feel the need to say it.

So there you go. That’s what I believe. I think next, I’ll talk about how my feelings about religion and Christianity relate to politics and inform my opinions there.

I’ve been out of the office for exactly a month. My last day at the office before today (1/5) was Friday, December Fifth. I’ve never done that before, and I liked it, maybe too much. Now I’m back, and not sure what to do with myself. I’m now used to sleeping in, eating breakfast with Max, doing nothing for a while, contemplating doing something, doing something, then going right back to doing nothing. Now, I’m at work, where “something” should be done. I’m having a hard time picking that something…

There are things I haven’t told you yet that I did with my time off. Since Jen was sick, and her parents were only here for a week, that meant that Max and I spent a lot of time in the week and a half after Christmas entertaining ourselves. We played a lot of video games (Tiger Woods 2004 wherein Max loves to repeatedly hit the ball into the water, and SSX 3 wherein Max refuses to steer), went out to breakfast, to Best Buy, the mall and the library (where I cried reading The Man Who Walked Between the Towers – yeah, I cried, sitting in a tiny chair at a tiny table, surrounded by parents and their tiny children). We had a good time, for the most part. I lost it a couple times when I found out that Max is actually quite good at Tiger Woods, but refuses to hit the ball correctly when he can just hit it in the water. He was also reeeee-ally moody one day, and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I sent him away to watch his Spongebob DVD until I could handle him again. We also went to the new Air and Space Museum out by Dulles Airport. I love going to museums with Max! We saw the whole thing in less than an hour, and at incredibly high speeds. Max doesn’t wait around to read signs and ogle shiny chrome (which is my excuse for such strange pictures – plus, the lighting there is complete crap). One suggestion though, if you’re planning on going and live in the area – wait six months. It’s not finished, and you’ll be doing a lot of stairs. I don’t think all the planes are in yet either, and you can’t get close enough to the Space Shuttle. Otherwise, it’s fun.

I think I’ll close this one with Max’s latest obsession: the human body. Max will gladly tell you where your femur is, where blood cells are made, what his medulla oblongata is doing right now, and that his phalanges like your phalanges (where he got the last part, I don’t know, and body parts are interchangable… my “internal organ” likes your “internal organ”). My mother and I both got him books about the body for Christmas, and he’s just devouring them. He loves to ask me how the heart, brain, stomach, small intestine, muscles, bones, etc work, and will ask completely out of the blue, insanely funny questions about his body. I love it.

The kid is scary-smart. I’m almost to the point that I want to get him tested. He learns things too quickly, and retains too much for this to be normal. He’s been reading for two years, although frequently refuses to read because I think he likes it when we read to him. He remembers the dates of weird little things that happen, and will bring them up out of the blue and asked how I was feeling on October 14th, or some other day when something miniscule happened. It’s cool, and I love it, but it’s kind of freaky at the same time. For example, he drew his skeleton at church yesterday on a little cutout body, and then his heart, and the blood moving around. Granted, it wasn’t complex, but it was there, and he remembers me telling him that the heart pumps blood all over, where it is, and that red blood cells carry hemoglobin, which carries oxygen to other cells in the body.

I think we’ll do astronomy next… but thinking that is kind of silly. The boy learns what he wants, and drops what he doesn’t. It’s fascinating to watch him pounce on a topic and go all out asking questions, looking for answers, and then going deeper once he’s got the basics.

Ok, enough Max-bragging. Back to work with me…

I hope you all had a merry Christmas. We had a great, although different, holiday this year. Jen has bronchitis and I had a root canal on Tuesday, so things were a little slower this year. Thankfully, Jen’s parents are here, and have been taking good care of us. I don’t think my mother-in-law is happy unless she’s cooking, cleaning or doing laundry. Her dad has already completed a large portion of my honey-do list, and well, I’d be happy if they stayed clear on through till May when the baby’s born. I won’t have to do anything ever again… I can be even more of a lump than normal!

This was also Max’s first Christmas where he was aware of the whole Santa Claus thing, and presents. He helped pick out his present for Jen, and even got a present for the new baby (six months early, but he wanted to get it, and I didn’t want to discourage him).

Now, we’re hanging out watching football and snacking… It doesn’t get better than this.

I’m home, off from work, and you’d think I’d been gone a lot longer than a week. So, I’ll be even quieter than I have been. Off spending time with the family, getting the house ready for visiting in-laws, and doing the last minute food and present shopping that always comes up the week before Christmas. If I don’t post again before the 25th, have a safe and happy holiday (whatever your holiday may be)!!

To the best of my recollection this is the exact transcript of a conversation I had with my wife last night:

• Jen: Can I do anything for you?

• Kevin: Nope, I’m good.

• Jen: But I love you so much, I want to show how much I love you by doing something for you.

• Kevin: I love you too, but really, you do enough already. You’re carrying our baby, you take care of Max and make sure I know you love me. That’s enough.

• Jen: Come on, there has to be something.

• Kevin: Ok, can you pick up my prescriptions tomorrow?

• Jen: Maybe

• There is a short pause as Kevin looks at Jen, expressionless, waiting…

• Jen: HEEEEEEE-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (rinse, repeat for at least five minutes)

• Kevin: HAW-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (ditto)

Honestly, who could ask for anything more than that?