Category: funny

My good friend and incredible

Too much thinking this morning,

Too much thinking this morning, so it’s straight to the gutter: Do you know what’s worse than diarrhea? The ominous gurgling undertones of diarrhea. I mean, if you’re coming, loose stool, let’s get it on. But if you’re just going to rumble and not show up, then screw you, I don’t have time for it.

May your yin-yang hind-end twirl

I have a new favorite

I have a new favorite last name: Krauthammer. How completely insensative and wrong can you be? It’s PERFECT!! Charles Krauthammer was on Meet the Press yesterday, and didn’t look very hammering to me. I wish Krauthammer was my last name. Maybe Chuck Gerbilhammer would be better… or Kevin Nailhammer would be better. Either way, Krauthammer’s […]

I laughed, and laughed. Man,

Are you fat?

I am. And I’ve come up with a list of ways to tell if you are too. Can you use your gut as a portable table? You’d buy a sports car, but the thought of getting in and out of it deters you. Lose twenty pounds and no one even notices. You know what dunlap’s […]

Just a helpful hint to

I am hooked.

I used to work with

Connie Chung is joining CNN

Connie Chung is joining CNN, and will host an hour-long show at 8pm in the Spring. The show hasn’t been named yet. In an attempt to be as helpful as possible to the newest member of the AOL-Time Warner family, I’ve come up with a list of possible titles for her show: On The Bottom […]