It’s a strange day. I’ve been reading about the demise of a company I once respected, and a love story I’ve watched from afar (so far that I’ve only exchanged e-mails, but wow, it’s been a hell of a story – one I hope they never make into a movie because I don’t think anyone could get it right but the participants).
Realizations
I’m thinking about moving my site to Hub.org. They provide AOLserver + Postgres hosting at reasonable prices, and well, I’ve realized that I want to start doing more with this site, and my current host just won’t allow me to do it. I’m not sure of the timing of everything, but expect to hear more in the coming weeks (maybe for my birthday).
I will be 27 on March 20th. How do I know this? My globe-trotting sister just turned 17. I don’t know, but that seems a little older than I feel. I still feel 22 and stupid some days. Others, I feel much much older: like I’m the old man at the party looking at everyone with the bemused wink of someone who’s done it all and knows what’s what. It’s an odd feeling considering that I haven’t left the country to go anywhere other than Mexico in almost 20 years (damn, that’s a long time). Now I know how Jen felt last year. Twenty-seven has a ring to it. It sounds like I should know something, something you learn somewhere between twenty-six and twenty-seven. What that something is though, I have no idea: Always cut away from yourself, never leave the oven on overnight, don’t play with matches, sit when you pee, what is it? Maybe I’ll learn it in the next month or so and be all ready to be a mature and with-it grown up.
Oh, now I know what I really wanted to tell you about today. I have a confession to make. I am comfortable enough with my masculinity and any ridicule that this might bring to tell you my deep dark secret. It’s a gigantic admission for a guy to say this: I pee sitting down. Yes, that’s right. I don’t do the stand-up-and-spray like every good man. I don’t leave pee drops on the seat or floor. I sit like a lady, do my business out of sight and then flush it away without so much as a look. I know you’re all horrified, but it gets worse. And why save more pain for later when I can let it all out now and not think of it again. For some reason, my wife sometimes leaves the seat up. I’m not sure what she’s doing that the seat needs to be up, and I’m a little afraid to ask. Nevertheless, I now know why women get so upset when the seat’s left up and they go to sit down. Sometimes, in the dead of night, when I make the trek to the bathroom, so tired I don’t bother to turn on the light, go into sitting mode, and then… there’s something missing. Ass touches porcelain and the relfexes kick in. There is a fumbled leap up, which is not so graceful with pants around ankles and bits flailing. If I’m lucky, I’m able to gather my wits, do my thing and go back to bed. If I’m not, it means sitting for a while, calming down, and taking 5 minutes to do a 30 second job.
I feel so much better now. Thanks for listening, and understanding.
Just a helpful hint to
Just a helpful hint to the folks in Intercourse, PA: You need a Cherry Festival.
He’s a Convert!!
My son is being brainwashed. He’s a member of the pint-sized Blue Army, and there isn’t much I can do about it. I am weak before its power. I have surrendered him to power greater than my own. He wears his almighty “Teve-schurt” all the time, and waits impatiently when it needs to be washed. He constantly chants his eternal question, “Boo? Boo?” until I relent and let him gaze upon the indoctrination of the sacred “clues” and mystical “paw prints”.
Is Blue’s Clues a gateway drug into the world of harder television? Will he come in some day twitching his remote finger and asking for just another hit of the Fonz? I am powerless to stop it. Not because I can’t, but because I lack the will power to curb my own TV addiction (now powered by TiVo).
Anathema to Geek
What is a geek’s polar opposite? Who makes it impossible to be perfectly geeky? Managers. They’re not all bad. They don’t all make geek lives miserable. But, there are some who seem to thrive on impossible and arbitrary deadlines, insisting that they know how to do something the “right” way even though they’re not the least bit technical, are enamored with constantly changing requirements, and will nitpick until what little hair you have left is laying in a pile on the floor after being yank from your head in frustration.
Managers are a neccessary evil. They provide feedback, and the best of them provide a good shield between bureaucracy and the geek. The worst managers are fickle, uncommunicative and only out to improve their own chances for promotion while never offering praise in public (or private) for the members of their teams. To be a good manager, you’ve got to be able to switch gears between talking to your superiors and talking to the people who work for you. Being a good geek manager takes this to the extreme. You have to know businessSpeak to talk to your boss, but be able to remove all the bullshit when you talk to the geeks. Geeks despise bullshit. If you want to watch a geek explode, start talking about monetization, marketing or paradigms. It just doesn’t work. Geeks like facts and figures, hard requirements and pizza.
Geeks also like food. If you feed a geek, he’ll be your’s for life. Ply your geeks with pizza, donuts and yes, alchohol (not me, though… Dr. Pepper). They’ll work their bony little butts off for you if you feed them.
Geeks like toys. Make sure your geek can order new computers every year or so. Give them the tools they want/need to do their jobs. If they produce quality work, then reward them with new toys (like my shiny new G4). It keeps them happy, and gives them one less thing to whine about as you work them to death.
Geeks do not like Ken dolls. Don’t be a glad-hander. Don’t say something if you know it won’t happen. Geeks have long memories and low self-esteem. They remember being slighted and hold grudges. If you’re not going to throw a happy hour, don’t say you will. If you don’t think you can get Herman Miller chairs for everyone, don’t say you can. Say you don’t think you can, but you’ll try. That’s all geeks want: honesty. For the most part, geeks will be honest with you. It’s part of the Geek Code of Honor… which I think is based on something from Star Trek.
Blogger Insider This round’s questions
This round’s questions are from Derek at WebJunkiesPalace. Good questions…
Ok so this is a little one sided, but I have to ask… why AOL? I mean I know that they are advertised as #1, but that seems by volume sales only(ribbing just a bit).
That’s an excellent question, and I honestly don’t have an answer. If you’re new to computers, old, or have kids, then AOL’s a good choice. If you know what you’re doing, like the latest technology, know what sites you want to go to, and want to be able to do things like IRC without people laughing at you, then AOL’s not for you.
Now that thats over… might I get some inside info as to just how bring your own ISP works… seems as many of our users (as well as those who might read this) have questions about this…?
One of the big costs to AOL is upkeep and deals for all those access numbers. The BYOA plan was created as an incentive for people to connect over the internet to AOL instead of using a modem, hence the price drop (I’m not sure what it is now, but it used to be $9.95).
What got you started in the software development arena?
I used to work in tech support for AOL (you think your calls are bad…). At one point, AOL had a small business webhost called PrimeHost. I switched over to take those calls, and they gave me my own site with AOLserver and a sweet (at the time) Illustra db. That’s what started it. I saw what some of my friends were doing with their databases, and started asking lots of questions. I spent 6 months getting up to speed with the latest in HTML (this was ’97), then Tcl and SQL and had the time of my life. I built all kinds of horrible db applications and pages.
What is your most favorite thing that you have discovered on the Internet?
I realized that there’s something on the web for everyone. This is incredibly liberating for people living in rural areas, and can be so for everyone else. There’s content online related to pretty much every avenue of human interest. All you have to do is find it. The web is also becoming, more and more, a great place for support and community. Its amazing potential for bringing people together is the greatest thing I can think of at the moment.
The photos of your son are adorable… What is the best ‘adventure’ young max has had this year?
Well, this year’s only a month and change old, so for this year, it’s probably playing in the snow for the first time. He loved it.
AOLserver… what exactly is its purpose? considering the banner on my site about AOL which I am sure is the one you got when visiting (or will after reading this), did you write AOL server (or portions thereof)?
AOLserver is an open-source web server. It’s scalable, extendable, modular and kicks some serious ass. Most of the sites at AOL run it and handle insane amounts of traffic. It stacks up favorably to Apache, beats the crap out of IIS and is just a lot of fun to build stuff for. You can build some insanely complex applications without ever having to look under the hood, by using just Tcl. No, I didn’t write it, but I know the guys who work on it. I write a lot of stuff for AOLserver, and wouldn’t suggest using anything else (but, I’m partial).
How long have you been into blogging? And do you insist on a blog entry daily?
According to the archive, I’ve been blogging for about 18 months. I didn’t really get into it until the middle of last year when I started playing more with CSS and wanted to improve my writing. I decided to start sharing all the stuff wandering around in my head and try to communicate it in a way that made sense. It’s been a lot of fun. And no, I don’t insist on blogging every day, although I usually do.
What do you feel the next hot language will be for the web?
It’s not a language, but the hot topic I see on the horizon is the whole standards movement. As we start to phase out the old browsers (Netscape 4.x, I’m looking at you over there in the corner), people who build sites will be better able to divorce data from display, be able to build more complex and usable sites, and we’ll all be happy little web slaves. XML, CSS and XHTML will play big parts in the next couple years in making this possible. Personally, I can’t wait.
I am guessing you rooted for the Pats in the superbowl, how did you feel about their game play?
I didn’t really root for anyone. I loved watching the Rams during the regular season take people apart. Watching sheer domination is kind of fun. The Pats had a nice story and were the emotional favorite, and they played a great game. I don’t think Tom Brady’s numbers warranted the MVP. It should have gone to the whole New England defense who found the key to corralling the Rams offense.
Who is your all time favorite sports hero?
This one’s hard. Since I started watching football during the ’90-’91 season while I lived here during high school, I have to say Mark Rypien. He was quite and unassuming but ran that amazing offense with amazing skill. During their playoff game, against Deion Sanders and the Falcons, in the mud at RFK, Mark threw a pick to Deion. As Deion took off for the end zone, Mark, and all his 6’2″ and 250 pounds cut him off and slammed into him, creating a giant muddy heap as the two slid 5 yards out of bounds. It was amazing that after a mistake like that, he switched gears right away and took Sanders down.
Is the glass half empty or half full?
What color is the glass? Shape? Size? I’d say it’s half and half.
Who is a better commedian, Letterman or Leno?
Letterman in a landslide. Leno just bugs me. He’s annoying and a suck-up. His jokes aren’t funny, and his bits are lame. Letterman’s still got some zing and gives his guests a hard time when they deserve it.
And one more question about AOL (trying to learn also) is it in any way possible for a subscriber of AOL to connect without using the AOL CD? It seems that the latest release is troublesome for some users… that and a plain ol browser is just good enough… (more ribbing).
I’m assuming by “CD” you mean the software? You can get your mail on the web, and use AIM without the software. But, if you really want the whole “AOL Experience”, you need to software. I haven’t had any problems with 7.0 at home… Don’t worry about the ribbing. I have enough problems with the way AOL does stuff that it really doesn’t bother me when other people have problems with them. And by the way, aolsucks.com sucks. I mean, come on. Be original in your criticism. Have you even looked at your own site? Try a little design, people! No one’s going to take you seriously if your site looks like a 5th-grade class project from 1997.
Speaking of geekgasm…. If you’re
Speaking of geekgasm…. If you’re using Mozilla or Netscape 6.x, you can now change how lawver.net looks. Go to View -> Use Stylesheet, and you should see the option “Deco” there. Choose and watch the purpleness!
Geekgasm
Why do we geeks get so excited by technology? Why do we go into convulsions of joy when we build something that works? It’s art, baby. I’ve figured it out. Writing code is an artform. Writing good code (where good is defined by each individual geek, unfortunately) is the equivalent of Waterlilies by Van Gogh. It moves me. When something works, it’s like a gallery show of my work. I can tell my family and friends, “Look, see what I have built and the cool stuff it can do.” Even though most of them aren’t geeks, they can look and see that it works and doesn’t break when they click stuff. To them, it is good. To my geek friends, I can say, “Look at my tiny codebase that’s portable to other projects. Look at the thoughtful inside jokes I put in my useful comments. Gaze upon my stellar documentation. Marvel at my valid DOCTYPE and how well-tabbed everything is.”
The best is when I build something that not only works and looks good, but performs. I can look at it and know that it’s handling several hundred requests a second and standing strong. Nothing’s more difficult or rewarding than building product for large-scale consumption. Almost anyone could eventually write something that will work on a small scale or in testing. It takes a special something to build it to withstand a pounding and stay up. The opposite is building something that I think is top-shelf and then have it come crashing to earth under load. It’s demoralizing. It’s tedious to go through hundreds of lines of code to find variables that might not be unset or data structures that aren’t freed. It takes time, which is usually in short supply. But, once it works again, all is well and triumph is sweet!!
Thus ends another lesson. Be sure to hug your geek.
It’s pretty. It’s not a
It’s pretty. It’s not a fancy blog, but there’s something very stylish and neat-o about it. Plus, anyone who uses a grainy AstroBoy pic is cool, right?
I just realized today that
I just realized today that they haven’t had Indian food in the cafeteria since September 11th. How odd.