Author: Kevin Lawver

  • I watched 9/11 last night.

    I watched 9/11 last night. Thanks to TiVo, I didn’t have to watch it Sunday night after driving all day, but could wait until I was ready for it. I wasn’t, but I watched anyway. It was unbelievable. I cried like a child several times. The best/worst moment was the brothers reunion at the firehouse. The raw relief in their embrace was magical and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I appreciate CBS’s choice to air it, and as much as I normally despise network television, they did an excellent job conveying the tragedy of the day without showing us the gore that we all knew existed. The sound of the impact of falling bodies was enough. The mad dash to get out of the collapsed trade center only made the fate of those trapped on higher floors that much more real and painful.

    I hope that, in the years to come, they show this documentary in schools when they talk about this time. I think it captured the moment for not only the firefighters in New York (how would I know, but the unions say they’re happy with it), but for me. The impotent anger of Tony, stuck at the firehouse with nothing to do but watch the news: that was me, stuck in my living room watching CNN, with no way of knowing what was going to happen next, powerless to do anything but watch.

    I’m sure that maybe he’s embarrassed my some of the things he said in the days and weeks following, as am I. But, I decided a couple months ago that I was going to leave my posts from September up as a reminder. I say stupid things, and most of them unrelated to tragedy. I’m especially stupid in the process of figuring things out. I said some stupid and embarrassing things on this site right after it happened, and well, I’m ok with that. People all over the world said stupid things, and that’s just part of the process of coming to grips with the world changing with no warning. I think keeping a site like this is to give a picture of ourselves, and my posts from then were a picture of me at the time, as 9/11 is a picture of the guys in the firehouse. The picture may be embarrassing at times, but that’s life. I want desparately to go back and edit those old posts and take out the things I know I shouldn’t have said, or the assumptions I had that don’t make sense now. But, that would be dishonest to the time and to myself. I felt the need at the time to post them, so they must have felt important at the time, and for that reason, I’m leaving them as is.

    Let’s hope we never have to go through this again, and if we do, at least I’ll keep my mouth shut until we know what’s going on, and have had time to process and come to terms with what’s happened.

  • There’s an excellent article on

    There’s an excellent article on Mozilla over at Salon. As a fanatical Mozilla user since the earliest preview releases (I didn’t start using is as my default browser until it got stable enough around .9.2), I have to say that I wouldn’t suggest using anything else. I love the e-mail client, the bookmarking system (although there were still some annoying little bugs as of .9.8), and the standards support. .9.9 is out now, and I’d suggest trying it out. Mozilla is a lot faster than it was six months ago and a lot more stable than it was just two months ago. Try it, you’ll like it.

  • Max counted to one hundred

    Max counted to one hundred last night. He’s two and a half and counted to a hundred. He needed some help after thirty. He got to thirty-nine and then looked at me. I said “forty” and then he promptly moved on to forty-nine, at which point I said, “fifty” and so on until we got to one hundred. At that point, we clapped and he shouted, “The end!”, like one hundred is the biggest number he’ll ever need to count to.

    Jen’s started leaving Max’s door open a crack at night, and then leaving our door open a crack as well so Max can come in after he wakes up in the morning. I think the shower woke him up this morning because when I got out, there was Max, laying on his lamb on the bed in his Batman pajamas. He smiled his sleepy smile and said quietly, “Hi, daddy” and then layed back down. He is so cute, it makes me want to cry.

  • I should have called in

    I should have called in sick. I really should have. I’m tired and well, just not in the mood for working. On top of that, two unrelated-but-related emergencies are in progress, on top of future uncertainty. It’s the perfect day to stay home and sleep.

  • On the road again… I’m so happy I’m not on the road again

    I’m back! We had a good time at the wedding, a decent time on the drive there and back, and a great time seeing Jen’s parents. Max was an angel almost the whole time. He started getting upset about twenty minutes from home, which is completely understandable since over the course of three days, he’d spent almost fifteen hours in a carseat (or as he would say, fiveteen). All in all, a good time.

    Random Observations:

    • Pennsylvania likes to add adventure to their highway experience. Not only is the Pennsylvania Turnpike hilly and curvy, they’re also doing construction on most of it, which narrows it to two lanes with about six inches to either side. Sixty-five down a mountain, through S-curve after S-curve sandwiched between concrete walls and an eighteen-wheeler in forty mile-an-hour winds is not the way I’d suggest spending a Sunday afternoon. I felt like I was in a video game.

    • I don’t feel the need to go back to Ohio. I know it was a little town, and it’s a crappy time of year to go pretty much anywhere north of Florida, but it didn’t strike me as a place I need to go back to.

    • Every wedding reception, big or small, needs an Elvis impersonator. The less he looks and/or sounds like Elvis, the better.

    • Everyone’s first wedding should be special.

    • I really like my in-laws. I wish we lived closer so Max could go over and play with Grandpop, Grandma and Buddy more often.

    • Max saying “daredevil” as he climbs on his Grandpa Brian is about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

    • If you teach a two-year old the definition of a word, it becomes the definition of every word. Jen’s mom taught Max the meaning of “Exit” (“It’s the way out”). Then, Jen started quizzing him about the meaning of “Entrance” (“It’s the way out!”, says Max), Purple (ditto), Car (uh-huh, you guessed it), etc. Every time we stopped to eat or get gas, Max would point up to the Exit sign and say, “Exit, it’s the way OUT”.

    • When I’m tired, I need a Toddler Translator. It takes a lot of concentration to figure out what he’s saying sometimes.

    • Max is just about the most adorable two-year old on the planet. He was extremely well-behaved, kept all his clothes on when he was supposed to, kept quiet and still during the ceremony and played well with the other kids, who weren’t always well-behaved, completely dressed or quiet and still when they needed to be. He’s my favorite.

    • I now know the script of Toy Story 2 by heart, even though I’ve only watched the movie twice. I’ve listened to it about six times now.

    • Every family roadtrip needs a dvd player (thank you, AOL… I get a world of use out of that Powerbook you gave me!)

    • In this little town, we couldn’t find one non-chain restaurant to eat at that wasn’t a biker bar. Hopefully, it’s not like that everywhere. When I go somewhere new, I like to try the local places to get a feel for the place. It could have been one town over from Sterling for all the local flavor we found in the town. The family was a different story. They’re all Ohio State freaks, and the first night at the “Hey y’all come over” party, it was incredibly difficult to tell everyone apart. They all wore Ohio State t-shirts and sweatshirts and well, they’re a family so they all kind of looked alike anyway. Local flavor galore in the family. Good people, and very welcoming to all us new folks.

    There are stories I’m supposed to write about that I can’t think of at the moment, because I’m actually working. I’ll update later, once Jen reads this and reminds me.

  • Preparation

    We’re leaving for Ohio tomorrow morning. Jen keeps moving our departure time up by thirty minutes every time she thinks of some other reason for us to stop (changing diapers, Max decompression time, lunch, etc). Now, I think we’re leaving at 4:30am yesterday.

    What do I do before a big trip? Why, I wipe the Powerbook clean and start over. I’m going to go to Best Buy and get a cigarette lighter adapter so Max can watch movies the whole way there, and then to the sto’ to buy soda and last-minute munchies. I have my directions and my big driving map. I’m going to get the oil changed at lunch, and debating about buying a cell phone. The one thing I don’t know is whether Ohio is Eastern or Central time. If it’s Central, that means we can leave an hour later (please, oh please).

    I’ll have the Powerbook with me, so will hopefully be able to blog from the road. But, don’t look for anything insightful (do you ever get anything insightful here anyway?). See ya on Monday!

  • Killer Apps

    There are things I have today that I don’t remember living without. I remember the days before e-mail, but do I think I could live without it now? Nope, not for a single day. I’d go crazy. My favorite application, that I don’t think I could live with if it disappeared has got to be Mapquest. Every time I drive somewhere new, I go right there. Every time we take a roadtrip – it’s the first place I go. Like this morning, after I got out of my meeting, I went to Mapquest to plan our trip to Ohio. Mapquest told me it will take six hours and forty-three minute to drive from Sterling, VA to Elyria, OH. I know it’s 376.37 miles between my front door and the hotel where we’re staying, and I even have a nice little map of the route. Thank you, internet!

  • Going to Ooooooooooo-hio

    We’re going on a roadtrip this weekend. My wife’s brother is getting married in a little town in Ohio. So, we’re gonna pack up the truck, throw Max in the back with the luggage and his lamb and drive on out. It’ll be fun. We haven’t done a real roadtrip since the Virginia Beach trip last year. The best part is her parents will be there. I can smell the Pinochle and trash talk already.

    There’s something wonderfully American about roadtrips. Jen and I decided last night to plan the Great American Vacation. We may never take it, but we’re going to plan it. We assume we’ll take a big honkin’ RV, spew pollutants across this great country of ours. I call it “spreading the love”. We want to finely balance great natural and historic wonders like Monticello and Yellowstone with the macabre and campy American classics like The Corn Palace and World’s Largest Ball of Twine. We’ll stay in campgrounds, I’ll wear a fisherman’s hat, shorts with black socks and chew on an empty pipe. She’ll look at the map quizzically while I go on and on about the price of gas and how many miles we need to cover before we get to Carhenge. Max will sit in the back playing video games and looking at us like we’re crazy. Yeah, it’ll be the perfect vacation, just like the home movies we watched at Grandma’s. Uncle Bud shooting 16mm film out of the back of a beat-to-hell station wagon as mom, Aunt Linda and Aunt Judy played in the seat in front of him. Stretches of concrete in a disappearing line behind him, filled with gas-guzzling behemoths of steel passing on all sides. Who wants to go?

  • I have a new favorite

    I have a new favorite last name: Krauthammer. How completely insensative and wrong can you be? It’s PERFECT!! Charles Krauthammer was on Meet the Press yesterday, and didn’t look very hammering to me. I wish Krauthammer was my last name. Maybe Chuck Gerbilhammer would be better… or Kevin Nailhammer would be better. Either way, Krauthammer’s a great name. Second child’s middle name, I think. Augustus Krauthammer Lawver – nice ring to it, eh sweetie?