I swear, this almost never happens to me. This morning, before work, I cried uncontrollably. It was like floodgates opened, and all the liquid in my body left through my eye holes. Did I have an emotional breakdown because of all the things I can’t tell you about? Nope, it was those damn boiler onions. I was throwing a roast in the crockpot, and for some reason, those little onions hit me wrong. I couldn’t open my eyes for almost five minutes, the sting was so bad. That almost never happens to me, especially with those little onions (now, white onions are a whole different story).\
It wasn’t all bad… now my eyes feel great, perfectly refreshed and ready for a long day of staring at a monitor.
Author: Kevin Lawver
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Start The Day With A Good Cry
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So Much, And Yet Nothing
There’s so much I want to ask you, Internet Pals, but absolutely nothing I can write here. Why? It would definitely break the rules. But, I just have to say, I’ve never wanted to break the rules more than I do right now. Pretty much everything going on in my life at the moment would require me to break those rules (no embarrassing family stories, nothing that would get me fired, etc), and well, I don’t want to make anything worse than it already is.\
Things aren’t bad. In a lot of ways, things are very very good. Things are just complicated. The more complicated things get, the more I want to write about them, which would just further complicate them.\
I can tell you that I’m going to Dublin in the very near future, Boston after that (to hang out with my fellow standards nerds at the W3C), and then to Austin for Geek Summer Camp (you know, SXSW. Frequent flier miles are mine, all mine, baby.\
And maybe while I’m in dark, cold and super-friendly Dublin, I’ll tell you a little about all the fun stuff happening at Church, because I know you’re dying to know. You all are, I just know it. -
Nerd Jokes
I spent too much time yesterday at OMG Clothing perusing and rating t-shirt slogans. Then, I found the “Submit your slogan” button, and had to throw in some of my own.\
My favorites, which they didn’t accept (probably because of all the funny characters), were extremely nerdy. They were so nerdy that when I sent them to my nerd friends, they called me a nerd. They were so nerdy that only nerds who are nerdy about CSS would get them. So, for your nerding pleasure, I give you my first two CSS jokes:<code>#me + #you { margin:0; }</code> <code>#town { color:#f00; background:#f00; }</code>Oh, but the nerdiness didn’t stop there! I also submitted some search nerd slogans:
- Google told me you suck.
- Your PageRank blows.\
I know… I’m hopeless. I am now hopelessly nerdy. I don’t think there’s any going back. I used to be just geeky, and proud of it. I’m afraid I breached nerd a while ago and didn’t notice until it was too late. I apologize to my family and friends… I didn’t mean to be a nerd. It just kind of happened.
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Ireland, Here I Come
I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin! I’m goin’ to Dublin!\
Did you hear? I’m goin’ to Dublin! -
Brian Rolls Over, Doesn’t Know What To Do When He Gets There
Brian, Getting A Little Desperate
Brian likes to roll from his back to his stomach. Unfortunately, once he gets there, he has a little trouble reversing the operation. That’s where we come in. We lay on the floor and take his picture while he struggles against his own little body in a futile attempt to reverse his fate. Then, we laugh at him, pick him up, kiss him and feed him mushed up carrots.
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Everybody Come Down
The Delgados’ Everybody Come Down makes me think of little kids running around, uncontrollable in their joy and energy. It builds tempo, has those great jangling guitars, and relentless beat. It reminds me of Max when he gets beaned up (or Tim).\
It also sounds a little like The Breeders Cannonball, but better and more fun.\
The rest of the album (Universal Audio) is great too. Very well put together pop rock, with some really punchy lyrics. -
My Personal Superhero Theme Song
I helped out my pal Jon with a CSS/Javascript question this morning, and he penned this Superhero Theme Song for me. Why? I have no idea, but he did it, and I have to share it.\
Kevin’s Superhero Theme:\
Kev-i-i-i-n! Kevin Lawver!\
Hero to-o-o-o the common man!\
Mi-i-i-ighty! Mighty Lawver!\
helps out whene’er he can!\
With a HO! and a HEY! and a DEEDLE DOO DEE!\
It’s up and away he GO-O-O-O-OES!\
On a horse made of candy\
Through the desert of hope!\
Kevin Lawver, and h-i-i-i-is … fi-i-i-i-i-ine … hoo-o-o-o-o-oes! (whip crack!)\
KEVIN!\
— By Jon Morris -
Yellow Pages on the Go
How cool is this? I found out this morning that AOL has an IM bot for Yellow Pages. So, next time I’m out of town and need to find a movie theater or restaurant, I can just send an IM from my Sidekick to AOLYellowPages and get what I need.\
I love IM bots for mobile stuff. Short messages, text interface, no waiting for images and pages to download that may or may not render on the Sidekick’s craptacular browser. I use ZolaOnAOL to get headlines, and play games while waiting in lines. I hear there’s a mythical bot for MapQuest too, but I haven’t found that one yet.\
AOLJournals will let you post to an AOL blog, but yeah… I know most people who read this don’t have one of those.\
Any other IM bots I should know about? -
Interesting Developments
Big changes at work coming next week. I’ll be doing something different, playing a different role, and it will hopefully be big. Big is good.\
In other news, I got new pants. Not just any pants, smaller pants. I’ve dropped two pants sizes in the past year. My only new year’s resolution this year is to continue. My goal is to lose fifty pounds this year. That would bring my weight loss to a grand total of one hundred pounds. It won’t be easy, but I’ll get it done. It’s only a pound a week… small steps, small changes, gradual improvements.\
And it’s only January, and I already can’t wait for SXSW.