Airport Mormons

I’m back!! I slept sitting up on the couch last night and got seven hours of uninterrupted sleep before getting up for work. I’m back a work, a little tired and a little coughy, but here I am. I’m going to work on a Geekout! tutorial on installing Movable Type in OS X for a friend and try not to go crazy or fall asleep.

If I ever get it installed, I’ll probably also do a tutorial on installing an airport card in a G4 Powerbook. I thought it would go under the keyboard like the RAM does, but NO. You have to take the battery out, remove the bottom casing and then you can install the card. Being sick, I haven’t gotten around to performing open-butt on my machine (well, work’s machine – shhhhh). Apple, why do you have to make things difficult? You could have used normal screws on the bottom, and included in the instructions with the card. But no, I had to go to your website and download a 9mb PDF to figure out how to install the card. What fun!! Now, my battery refuses to come out for some reason, and I’m real close to giving up. Maybe it’s time to take it to the Genius Bar and have them do it… it’s admitting defeat, but then at least I’d have Wi-Fi at work.

The Morning News has an incredibly inaccurate but funny editorial containing a request for the Mormons to save the world from Terror. It’s a novel idea, but don’t think Salt Lake hasn’t contemplated it. After life threats of baptism are pretty funny. If the promise of 70 virgins will convince someone to blow themselves up, would the thought of post-death conversion to Christianity compel them not to? Now, I don’t think this would fly. GW and the Boys only like faith-based initiatives of the Fundamentalist sort. The Fundies don’t like us too much. No, really, they don’t. You’d think they’d love the Mormons, but alas, it was not meant to be. To them, we’re a cult and debbil-worshippers. In high school, I tried and tried to understand why they didn’t like us and well, I could never get a solid answer. The only answer I could come up with was ignorance. Every time I explained my religion to someone, they went, “Oh, that’s not so bad.” After they’d gone back to their pastor, they’d always come back and tell me I was lying to them. Ummmm… huh? Thankfully, I don’t live in Mississippi anymore and don’t have those problems anymore. I must not have enough drugs in my system… this is going nowhere fast.

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Chicken Noises

Ok, I just called a friend a chicken over IM. I was trying to type out chicken noises. It occurred to me, how do you type out sarcastic chicken sounds? Here are the possibilities I came up with:

  • Braaaack braaaak (ok, John came up with that one)

  • Bu-GAWK

  • Squaaaaaaaaaaaack

  • Bok Bok BO-GAWK!

  • Coodle-a-doodle-damn-doo!

See, it’s hard…

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Wee Babies And Crackheads

I mentioned Chappelle’s Show last week in my epic list of good tv, especially that I’d only seen the first episode and am reserving judgement BUT that it looks like it will be amazing. Well, folks, after watching last night’s episode, I can honestly say I want to have Dave Chapelle’s babies. The crackhead talking to school kids was almost as funny as the black white power sketch from last week. And the opening bit with the “pretty white girl” was just plain brilliant. Catch a repeat. Do whatever you have to to watch this show. You won’t be sorry.

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A Moving Experience

The article isn’t scary to me. What scares me is it actually sounds like a good idea.. Warning… intense gastric descriptions await you in that story.

After a small scare yesterday (went back up to 300.5), I’m back to 299.5, and that’s after going out to breakfast and having chili for dinner. I’m really not getting crazy about this, but I’m seeing results and it makes me extremely happy. I have more energy. I can see my toes. I need to go shopping for a new belt because this one’s on its last hole and not doing a great job of holding things up. I wore pants to church that I haven’t been able to fit into for over a year, and they weren’t the least bit uncomfortable.

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