Category: funny

Part One and Part Two. I sure hope Mr. Arthur sounds like Buddy Cole, because he does in my head. I have never read a funnier parody of high school assemblies, the differences between straight and gay, and classroom discussions. He did a great job capturing voice and making it feel like it was an actual transcript. Funny, funny stuff.\
Aside from the humor, I was impressed by how honest it is about the camps in the gay community. In Tucson, I knew a lot of gay people and had quite a few gay friends. It was funny to see parties and gatherings where the group was mostly gay. The cliques and stereotypes are mostly true in a beautiful and amusing way. Lance does a better job than I could of putting all those stereotypes in perspective and doing it with a lot of humor.\
And relatedly… I miss all my HomoFriends. No one that I know here is out enough to be any fun. Maybe I’m just old and have no friends… Maybe the gay people all run from me and my obvious boringness. No, really, I can queen out if you give me a chance! I’m straight, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends!!

The Acadia Letters are the best cure for an early morning. I’m not even caffeinated and I laughed my head off.

The Mormon crickets are invading!!! You know, if those crickets had their food storage, they wouldn’t have to go grazing on Sunday.

Possible reponses that may fly out of my mouth the next time someone says “There’s no I in TEAM” (inspired by this – thanks, Ray!):

• There’s no YOU in it either.

• There’s no chocolate in TEAM, which is why I‘m not there.

• Yes, but there is a ME.

• I go by MEAT when I’m in a TEAM, which is why you didn’t see me.

• This isn’t about spelling. This is serious! Everyone knows there’s no I in TEAM. It’s spelled T – E – A -M. You should learn to spell and stop relying on spellcheck, honestly.

• That’s true, but there is a U in DUMB. (there’s also a U in STUPID, but there’s also an I, which is why I used DUMB)

That was fun… got any to add?

Yet blue, and I prefer them medium-sized and red. I mean the monsters.

Weird, but really really funny. Make sure you do the voices in your head when you read it.

I couldn’t stand it, so I grabbed two guys I work with and headed to the cafeteria for some lovin’ in the form of frozen yogurt and peanut butter cookies. The three amigos too the elevator, walked three-wide through the corridor, switched to single file up the stairs and then back to three-wide – daring folks in khaki and Egyptian cotton to mess with us on our mission to seek semi-frozen solace in a polystyrene embrace.

I got double chocolate and new york cheesecake in a manly swirl, doused in in chocolate syrup, caramel and oreo bits and then walked truculantly up to the line. Oh yeah, I waited patiently for my turn to weight my confection and profer my money to the short Latin lady older enough to be my mom. I then grabbed a spoon. I would have grabbed more, the The Man was watching. Then, my two partners in snacking crime headed back to our pofficles (pod + office + cubicle) to enjoy our treats.

Then, I fumed. And then I got some water and popped a cough drop. Now, I’m listening to Groove Armada while I work on even more stuff (except right this minute, because I’m writing this). There is one e-mail kept as new in my box, and I will do nothing with it until tomorrow, I swear on all that is obtainable out of a metal bin at Target for ninety-nine cents. I am going to leave soon, proudly waving like the Queen without her tiara or pillbox hat as I exit the building, go down the stairs into the bowels of the basement to my chariot and depart.

Before I leave, I just wanted to tell you I’m tired and I’m cranky and I don’t want to work out today. But, I like you. Really, I do. Just not in that way.

Fred Milton speaks the truth. It’s sad when we turn to a talking poodle to tell us the truth: “This war is deeply 100% toilet”.

Google thinks I’m a “web designer and goofball extraordinaire”. One out of two ain’t bad. I’m no designer. I used to think I was, but I gave up. I’m a code monkey with definite opinions about design, but I’m not a designer.

The goofball part is right on… on the way back from Indian food the other day, someone said, “It’s great to find someone else who never grew up.” Yeah, that’s me. I’ve got a juvenile sense of humor and a delight in mischief.

What does Google think of you?

Mr. Kottke’s post about early web art got me prevaricating off down memory lane. I posted a big list in his comments (which I will post below this). But, what came rushing back after I posted my comment was Bob the Anal Fissure. Of all the horribly gross and funny things that showed up on the web in the “early” days of the my experience with it (1995). I remember sitting there at work, trying to stifle giggles as I talked to people on the phone and tried to fix their horrible 9600/2400 modems. Not for the faint of heart.

And the original list:

• All those “X Ate My Balls” sites

• Birdhouse.org and all those great early art pieces.

• Art.net – one of the first online galleries that I ever saw. It blew me away.

• Netscape 3.0 Beta 3 (I think) that allowed you to have animated gifs as your background. I personally crashed dozens of browsers with my original site (‘lo those many years ago).

• The SGI Cool Zone in Netscape 2.0.

• All those cool things that didn’t last – VRML 1.0, Virtual Places and The Hub (one of the first 3D avatar chat systems).

• AOL 2.5 with its horrible web browser (booklink), but with the buddy list, which revolutionized IM.

• GNN – Global Network Navigator was a site (think early Yahoo) that was once more popular than Yahoo.

• Webcrawler

Go create your Captain Underpants name at GeekGrrl. I couldn’t resist, and I am proud to report that my Underpants-generated name is Squeezit Applekisser. I couldn’t be happier. Max’s is Skipper Applekisser, and Jen’s is Zippy Applekisser, and her maiden name is Applepants.