Stumpin’

I am so tempted. Unfortunately, I can’t because I work for the company that owns HBO, but man would I love it. Every time I think I understand the system, something happens to shake my faith it. This whole thing with Cheney and refusing to turn over documents about the energy taskforce is driving me nuts. I don’t want the energy policy for my country decided in secret after talking to the heads of all the major energy brokers. Everything about government that’s not related to national security should be transparent and out in the open. This wasn’t an RNC meeting. It was a meeting between the Vice President of the United States and people who spent a lot of money on his campaign (not just his, but several). The American people have a right to know what decision lead to the policies that are inflicted on us. It’s the only way we can make informed decisions about who to vote for and what to support.

My favorite part of the administration’s argument is the need for “unvarnished” advice. You’ll never get “unvarnished” advice from a CEO for a company you’re about to set a regulatory policy for. The argument is thinner than Calista Flockhart. You’ll never get completely objective advice from anyone who’s actually involved or affected by a policy. The only way to come to an semi-objective conclusion is to take all of the subjective advice, compare it to the available facts and proceed with a course of action.

I have to actually get work done now, but I’ll come back to this topic at some point, I’m sure.

Lazy Saturday

I’m going to spend today recouperating. I think, if I wake up, I’ll go get some pork with funny noodle at Saigon Cafe, and go see SuperTroopers.

This being alone thing is really starting to suck. The novelty of going to the bathroom with the door open and playing video games with the volume way up. Then, I realized that if I really wanted to, I could do that when Jen and Max are here. I need to find something to do with myself for the next ten days. There are only so many movies to rent and TiVo one guy can watch. Now that I’m starting to feel better, I can leave the house even!

How to get your geek to love you

I’ve done some of these before. I did my week of GeekTraining tidbits (1, 2, 3). Today, it’s some stuff for project managers. The title is different depending on the company (or even within the same company). Here, they used to be called project managers, and now they’re producers. The name’s been changed about ten times without the job function moving at all. Being a project manager is a pretty crappy job, as far as I can tell. You end up as everyone’s dumping point for bad news, demands, requests, problems, gripes, requirements, schedules, conflicts and slips. You don’t get the thrill of building something, much credit if it’s successfull, but a lot of blame if it fails or comes in late.

I won’t deal with project management as it relates to dealing with business folks, because I don’t know much about it. I do know how to deal with geeks, because I am one, and have to deal with project managers of varying talent levels all day, every day. Here are some of my observations, gathered from my three years in my current position:

Good Project Managers:

 Bad Project Managers:
understand, at least at a high level, the technology involved in a project. They understand acronyms, implementation timelines and relative complexity.

 constantly remind the geeks how stupid they are by asking the same question several times in the same meeting, constantly answer questions with blank stares and decide certain tasks are easy because “it didn’t sound hard to me”.
provide a buffer between business folks and geeks, translating businessSpeak into real requirements and providing effective communication between the two groups.

 forget to tell the geeks about requirements until the last minute and refuse to stand up to business folks when the business folks give unreasonable timelines or demands.
keep track of each step of the project. A good project manager knows that person A from design is going to be late, and therefore, geek B needs to know that work won’t be coming until later, and then communicates the slip to the business so they can readjust their schedule.

 do their best to avoid being the bearer of bad news, and conveniently ignore slips by other groups while still expecting the geeks to make up for everyone else by completing their work in less time than they agreed to.
are friendly and develop good working relationships with each party. This goes a long way to making everyone do their best work. When a requirement becomes a request instead of a demand, everyone is more likely to accomodate it.

 are antagonistic and think the best way to get people to do their job is to constantly nag them, stand over their shoulder, speak for them in meetings and set schedules without consultation. They’re my favorites.

There are more, I’m sure, but this is all I can come up with at the moment.

And to make myself feel

And to make myself feel better, I am worth exactly: $2,572,760.00.

Insider Info

Yesterday, people on AOL searched for “yo mama jokes” as many times as they searched for “notre dame” and “cysts“.

The tide is turning, and it’s headed right out my nose

I learned an important lesson last night. It was hard-won and therefore I’m going to share it with you. If you have a serious sinus infection and you take serious antibiotics long enough, there comes a point when the snot loses its purchase in your face and decides to turn tail and head for the exits. If you’re smart or lucky, this will happen during the day, when you’re home on the couch with crappy action movies and several boxes of Kleenex. I’m apparently neither smart or lucky. The mass mucous exodus started at about 10 last night and lasted until about 3:30am this morning. It was an amazing technicolor display of reds, oranges, greens, yellows and some clear viscous liquid I seem to remember from many months ago as normal non-infected proto-boogies.

I spent a part of this time on the couch with a roll of toilet paper (because I couldn’t find the Kleenex enclave) and the garbage can, watching the rest of Ghost World, which I just didn’t get. The relationship between Enid and Seymour was interesting, and Thora Birch was unendingly cute, but I just didn’t get it. Maybe this is the snot talking, but I think maybe it only works if you read the comic book the movie was based on (which I didn’t). The rest of the night was spent watching re-reruns of the Olympics on NBC and cursing my nose.

So, don’t ever ever ever get a sinus infection. And, if you do, go see a doctor right away or else you’ll end up on the couch in the middle of the night trying to figure out exactly how much snot your head is holding and why it has to leave in such an unorderly fashion. I mean, couldn’t it stand in line until I was ready to open the doors?

For whoever it was that

For whoever it was that searched for “amon tobin bmw”, the name of the song from that commercial was Get Your Snack On from Supermodified, which is an amazing album. The same song was also used in a Coke commercial. And, if you watched the latest Clairol commercial with Heather Locklear, the song they used was Boss on the Boat by Tosca (can’t remember which album it’s on).

There, I’ve done my part to make the world a more informed place. Now, I’m going back to my TiVo and decongestants.

I know there are things

I know there are things you say and do that you can never take back. But, if you could see it in your heart, could you please make it a cheeseburger? – Lyle Lovett

Into the fray

I have a big meeting in fifteen minutes where I have to defend a whole platform against a roomful of people. I doubt the folks who write AOLserver will even show up, which will leave me all alone to defend it. I have papers and figures and drawings, and it probably won’t matter. They’ll make the switch and then they’ll realize that they can’t do everything they used to, and feel bad for not listening to me. I would much rather they listen to me now than realize their mistake later when it’s too late to turn back.

If I have time today, I’m going to write an essay about national cultures, but don’t hold your breath for it. I’m still sick, and work is really busy. I went to bed at 9:30 last night and barely woke up when the alarm went off.

Just when I post my

Just when I post my Civ3 missive… they go and release a new patch that fixes some of my complaints!!!

  • They fixed the railroad bug

  • They added unit grouping (yes!)

  • and lots of other fixes