Ultranormal

Author: jclawver

  • I’m alive! And Awake!

    Brian’s nocturnal activities sent me to sleepyland by 7 last night. It was so glorious until he woke up again in the middle of the night. He kept jumping on me in bed. He knew though that it was still “bedtime” until the sun and sky got up. But since he was in bed, he wasn’t breaking any rules!

  • Ughh

    Brian has turned into a terrorist. He gets up at all hours of the night, flipping on the lights, disturbing everyone’s sleep, jumping on anyone with a pulse. Max keeps yelling at him to turn off the light and leave him alone. Kevin ran away and said, “Don’t bother me until the sun is up,” (I’ve been trying to teach Brian that) and I stuck my head under the blanket and tried to sleep with him playing leapfrog over me.\
    I’m not sure what to do to fix it and it is really hard to be rational or reasonable on very little sleep. Any suggestions?

  • Picture post!

    Kevin twittered it, but this picture deserves a real post of its own: Max at BarCampDC\
    He looks so professional!\
    Plaid shirt? Check.\
    Short-sleeve plaid shirt? Check.\
    Back pack? Check.\
    ID tag? Check.\
    Animated expression while talking about computery stuff? Check.

  • My boys

    Kevin and Max spent Saturday at a computer conference-thingie. Max loved it. Much more than I was expecting. He did utilize the markers and paper I sent along though. He wants to present sometime on animation and scratch. I am not sure what computer professional would want to listen, but hey- go for it, kid. He came home all psyched to hop on the computer and get started with some new project but Kevin was too tired. This morning he woke up at 5:30 (maybe because Brian and I were already awake and making noise) and immediately went to the computer.\
    Brian and I spent all day Saturday gorging on preseason football games! Wheee. Brian wasn’t so happy with this, actually. Too bad, kid, you’ve got another six months of football to endure! I tried to teach him how to catch a football, but my boobs kept getting in the way of the appropriate position. Booo.\
    The other day I went clothes shopping for the boys and put the bags on the couch. Brian saw them and asked, “What’s this?” I told him it was some shirts for Max. Brian wanted a shirt too. Being awesome, I said, “I got you some too. Here they are,” and pulled out his totally cute new shirts. Brian flipped out! He started screaming and crying, “Too big, too big,” (which is what he says when he doesn’t like something). Jeeze, what a drama queen. He could give the people on Project Runway a lesson or two.\
    Last week Max asked for his first pair of name-brand shoes. Sniff. They grow up so fast. Since the shoes, Skecher Airators, were on super sale and available during the tax-free weekend, I decided to get them. He was interested in them because the supposedly keep your feet color by letting air in, or air goes out. Something. After wearing them for a few minutes, he was disappointed by the lack of air wooshing. I was thinking about taking the shoes back, since he wasn’t so keen on them. “They don’t do a thing,” he said, but I decided that it would be a good lesson that commercials aren’t so accurate. Ten minutes later Max said he wants Skech-Airs. Headdesk.\
    Brian’s started saying, “Yank you,” instead of “Go” for thank you. He also says, “Peek-a-you,” instead of peek-a-boo. Totally cute.\
    Last week the boys came home from Babba’s with a toy pet. It was an egg that when put in water, a little rubber lizard hatches. Since then, it has more than doubled in size. I am not sure if it is still growing or not. It’s kind of awesome. Max named it Buddy 2, after my dad’s dog. I want another one of these things so Buddy can have a friend. Currently Buddy is living in my large glass mixing bowl. I am not sure we have room for two. Hmm. Max really wants a fish tank, so Kevin and I are going to get one for him for his birthday (no one steal our idea!). I need to make sure the tank is big enough to house Buddy too.\
    Speaking of birthdays, Brian got screwed out of his big birthday gift. Kevin and I had decided to get him a little kitchen, but the store didn’t have the one I wanted. We then spent a few days checking out online stores and shipping rates. By this time, Brian’s birthday party was over and we just sort of forgot about it. Oops. The kids have way too many toys though. So many in fact that it is hard for me to go present shopping for them because they pretty much have everything- blocks, trucks, little people, etc. How many trucks do they really need? Plus, Brian only really plays with two marbles, two cars, and a handful of blocks all day long. This makes me feel not so bad about planning to box up half of their toys for storage and/or Goodwill.\
    Let’s end on a random note. I rarely agree with Heather Havrilesky’s Salon column, but this week she pimps the season premiere of Weeds (I stopped watching) with my all-time favorite quote:

    My all-time favorite is when Doug and Andy are getting high in the living room and Andy asks the housekeeper, “Lupita, settle an argument for us. What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?” She answers, “The coffee table.”

    Man, look at all of the tags on this post!

  • One of these days I might have something highbrow to say.

    Here is my decorating horoscope: Loves antiques, florals, greens and blues, comfort and luxury, romantic touches. \
    Could this be any more wrong? Comfort doesn’t count because who wants to be uncomfortable? I have a lot of blue in my house because my husband likes it, but will admit to liking green.\
    You can check out your horoscope decorating style here: clicky.

  • Bad Mommy # 4 and # 183

    Last week over dinner, we were talking about the time and Kevin said, “Six o’clock.” Hmm, scintillating story so far, huh? Have you on the edge of your seats, right? Anyway, Brian says, “Fuck.” Kevin and I snicker but mostly ignore Brian. He says it again and again. Turns out he was trying to say, “Four o’clock,” and just forgot some of the sounds. Heh. You never forget your child’s first cuss word. When Max was a toddler, he would try to say fish, but it would come out, “bitch.” We would laugh and laugh, cuz we are totally immature like that.\
    Earlier today I was watching Entourage and Ari yells, “Fuck you!” a bunch of times and Brian started imitating him, “Fuck you. Fuck you.”\
    Yea, I am the best mommy ever.\
    I have been so busy trying to organize, move, and sort through basement stuff that the other household chores are being neglected. My poor family. Lately my house looks like one of those horrible places that CPS goes into: dirty dishes stacked in the sink, cracker crumbs in the family room, used sippy cups lying about. Ewwwww.\
    Ok, ok. The house usually looks like that except for the 20 minutes before my mom comes to visit. Usually I am too embarrassed to admit it!

  • Random emo story time.

    Babies, babies everywhere!\
    A friend of mine is pregnant, my cousin is pregnant, my neighbor is pregnant, and my other neighbor had a baby two weeks ago. Lots of babies everywhere, which is awesome because talking about babies is so much fun and exciting. Wheeeee! I love it! But having a baby, taking care of a baby? Ehh, I’d rather be stabbed in the eye. (Send all babysitting requests to Jennifer Lawver C/O Babies Everywhere.)\
    I can’t get excited about someone having a baby. It would be like getting excited for someone going off to Iraq. Ugh. I almost cried when my best friend got pregnant. I wonder if I’ll get over this feeling as Brian grows up and becomes less needy. Will I be excited for my sons to have their own kids or cry at the hell they are embarking on? Fifteen years is a long time to have to get over something, so hopefully I will.\
    The End.\
    ETA- I just read Sharon’s blog about morning sickness. OMG, I so want to cry for her. Pregnancy doesn’t really get worse than this, but then the hard part comes.

  • Stuff on my mind.

    Brian-speak update:

    • Brian tries to call Max, “Maxy Max,” like Kevin does, but it comes out, “Beh-Dant.” Seriously. It’s hard to describe. I keep telling Kevin that we NEED to get it on video. It’s cute and we know what he is saying (the inflection matches) but it’s kind of odd, yes?
    • Brian calls that silly Spongebob cartoon, “Aww bot curls pants.” Kevin couldn’t tell at all what Brian was saying until I told him.
    • Today we were playing a word game and Brian kept saying, “bird,” but I didn’t understand until the tenth time. He was getting kind of frustrated with me when I kept asking if he wanted a book. Poor Brian. Maybe it is time to have him reevaluated for speech therapy.
    • When Brian wants to initiate expressions of love, he’ll say, “Happy birthday, Mommy (or Daddy)!” It’s adorable and makes me want to eat his face off. I respond in kind. He can say, “I love you, too,” but only does it when someone else tells him first (such a boy that way).
    • Brian sang me a song today, “Rock a bye, Mommy, on the tree top. When the wind… faaaall.”\
      Sharon’s-having-a-baby Tips #356 and #872:
    • Some hospitals don’t provide wet wipes, so pack your own. It is really difficult to clean meconuim dry. Ask Kevin, he’ll tell you.
    • The hospital will probably give you a free diaper bag, so you can save some money by not getting your own. Use it towards something else totally necessary like… the million other things you need to buy.
    • Don’t stress about buying everything right now. Before you have the baby, all you need to buy is a baby book and some wet wipes for the hospital stay. You’ll probably have a day or two in the hospital (unless you’re a freak and check out four hours later like a friend of mine did). During this time, Mr. Sharon can buy a car seat, some diapers, and some onesies. That is all you really NEED in the beginning. True story. I mean, get the stuff you need, but don’t FREAK the FRAK out, ok?\
      Hey, if any of you readers out there have a tip to share, comment here and I will eventually send it to Sharon. Yes, the baby may be five by the time I send it, but maybe Sharon will be on her second or third then or maybe her younger sister Lauren (my super baby cousin) will be getting in on the mommy-action. See, the tips will still be relevant. (Hmm, imagine how much will change between three years ago when I had Brian and five years from now. A friend currently pregnant was shocked that I nor my friends had ultrasounds at 12 weeks even when nothing was wrong since everyone she knows has one.)\
      The house:
    • Kevin said I could repaint/redecorate the rec room. YAY! But that means more decisions to make, so boooo.
    • There are three ways I am leaning at the moment: painting the main area medium yellow and the office pale yellow (the playroom is bright yellow right now); painting the office blue and keeping the main area red and playroom yellow (primary colors rock my world!); or moving the comfy sectional down here and switching everything to nature-y green so that it flows into the new patio.
    • We’ve gotten rid of so much stuff lately, yay! Super yay! Toys and books and videos and kitchen crap. Head on down to the Sterling Goodwill to see it all. There is still more to get rid of. I am thinking about donating my wedding dress, but keeping my veil, to a breast cancer charity shop. It seems kind of sad, but what am I to do with it? I don’t have any daughters to dream of passing it to. I still fantasize of getting rid of half of everything I see. Ahh, sweet empty closets call out to me.\
      Politics:
    • The lack of action against the Bush Administration almost makes me believe in a Skull and Bones conspiracy. And I swear that I am mostly a rational person.
    • Hilary Clinton’s answer about whether she would talk to other governments (she basically said she wouldn’t, she doesn’t want to be used to propaganda) really bothers me. I understand what she means, but her first inclination is to worry about appearance rather than doing the job that needs getting done.

  • Bah humbug to plain curtains!

    When I grow up I want to be a buyer for department stores specializing in curtains so that I can eliminate the 14 different kinds of solid moss green curtains and get some variety in the selection. I went out looking for blue patterned curtains and didn’t find anything but solids, solids, and more solids. Bleh. How boring. I need to find curtains for the office so I can pick a paint color, see? Boo to the stores. I also need to pick a paint color for the new bathroom and the master bathroom. Maybe even my bedroom and the boys’ bathroom, but I am not sure if we’re getting those last two rooms painted.\
    I am also slightly offended that most of my curtain selections come from the kiddie section. Screw you, curtain-meany! Just because I don’t want moss green curtains doesn’t mean I am five!\
    La la la, my life is shallow.\
    What color are the walls in your favorite room of your place?

  • Yay for surprises!

    Here is the cute story of how Sharon told Aunt Margie about the baby.\
    Tim and Monica, Kev’s brother and sister-in-law, did something similar at Christmas when they were expecting their first child. It was fun.\
    When I was newly expecting Brian, I wanted to tell my parents in a cute way and in person since I had to tell them about Max via the phone. Max and I were going out to visit them so I put Max in a “Big Brother” t-shirt, thinking that my parents would get the reference as soon as they saw him. But no. Mom thought it was a used shirt from Goodwill!!