Ultranormal

Category: Jen

  • One Fish, Two Fish…

    Max received a fish tank for his birthday. Wheee. The boys and I have been having lots of fun watching the fish. Kevin and I bought the tank, accessories, and three fish as the present and told Max could pick out more fish later. Well, later is today. He picked out two little tiny ones (per my strongly worded suggestion) but now that the fish are home and I see how big the original fish are, I am worried for the new little guys. Hope they aren’t eaten!\
    ETA- I did some googling after posting this entry and the two types of fish aren’t compatible. Plus the kind of fish I bought are happier in a school, but I only bought 2 of them. And I learned that goldfish continue to grow so that I shouldn’t have gotten more fish anyway. Lastly, we have been feeding the fish the wrong type of food! Oy, I am a bad fish mommy.

  • Amazon failed me!

    I ordered a “Where do babies come from?” type book and a “How to talk to your child about sex” book in preparation for “the big talk” with Max and both were a bust. They were too immature, even though Max is in the targeted age range, and described sex as a special, really close hug. Ugh. I knew I should have gone to a real bookstore and actually look at the books before buying.

  • What to do? What to do?

    Kevin is home today and tomorrow- yay- to continue to get the house ready for the renovation. (We need to move some stuff, paint some stuff, find some stuff, and call some people.) The kids were being extra loud this morning and Kev woke up, ready to start the day around 7. A M. In the morning. Like, right after the sun got up. Even when I wake up at 5 am with Brian, I am not ready to start the day until at least 8:30 am. Don’t even bother getting me to try. Now it’s 7:48 am, Kev and Brian are downstairs playing and I am trying to decide if going back to bed is the right thing to do. I am not particularly tired. But, I DON’T START THE DAY UNTIL 8:30 am. Except for when I do, because honestly, sometimes I do.

  • I’m home.

    I made it back from the protest march safe and sound. Kevin put up some pictures on flickr. Go to the “photos” link above and clicky.\
    The experience was interesting and great and sad and frustrating.\
    CNN has some pictures up: Number six is my favorite as it shows what I felt. I couldn’t see the front of the group or the back, even when higher up.

  • TGIF!!

    I’m super tired and have heartburn for the fifth time this week, but it’s Friday. YAY!\
    Kevin and I are gathering friends and family to attend our first protest; I guess we really are hippies now: ‘End the War’ March on Washington on September 15. Who else wants to go?

  • This is me!

    Just substitute chocolate for the wine: Come home, Daddy!\
    I can handle the kids the first 90% of the time Kevin is gone. Once that anticipation of Kevin coming home hits me, I am done for. If he is just at work, then I start to lose it around 4 pm. If he is gone on a three-day business trip, I lose it about half way through the third day. If he is gone for three weeks, I am fine for 18 days in a row- IN A ROW!!- until I sense that he will soon be home. It’s weird to me that I can be fine for 18 days in a row but can’t always handle a whole regular work day. I guess it is because I know I have to handle it when he is away on business.

  • My boys

    Kevin and Max spent Saturday at a computer conference-thingie. Max loved it. Much more than I was expecting. He did utilize the markers and paper I sent along though. He wants to present sometime on animation and scratch. I am not sure what computer professional would want to listen, but hey- go for it, kid. He came home all psyched to hop on the computer and get started with some new project but Kevin was too tired. This morning he woke up at 5:30 (maybe because Brian and I were already awake and making noise) and immediately went to the computer.\
    Brian and I spent all day Saturday gorging on preseason football games! Wheee. Brian wasn’t so happy with this, actually. Too bad, kid, you’ve got another six months of football to endure! I tried to teach him how to catch a football, but my boobs kept getting in the way of the appropriate position. Booo.\
    The other day I went clothes shopping for the boys and put the bags on the couch. Brian saw them and asked, “What’s this?” I told him it was some shirts for Max. Brian wanted a shirt too. Being awesome, I said, “I got you some too. Here they are,” and pulled out his totally cute new shirts. Brian flipped out! He started screaming and crying, “Too big, too big,” (which is what he says when he doesn’t like something). Jeeze, what a drama queen. He could give the people on Project Runway a lesson or two.\
    Last week Max asked for his first pair of name-brand shoes. Sniff. They grow up so fast. Since the shoes, Skecher Airators, were on super sale and available during the tax-free weekend, I decided to get them. He was interested in them because the supposedly keep your feet color by letting air in, or air goes out. Something. After wearing them for a few minutes, he was disappointed by the lack of air wooshing. I was thinking about taking the shoes back, since he wasn’t so keen on them. “They don’t do a thing,” he said, but I decided that it would be a good lesson that commercials aren’t so accurate. Ten minutes later Max said he wants Skech-Airs. Headdesk.\
    Brian’s started saying, “Yank you,” instead of “Go” for thank you. He also says, “Peek-a-you,” instead of peek-a-boo. Totally cute.\
    Last week the boys came home from Babba’s with a toy pet. It was an egg that when put in water, a little rubber lizard hatches. Since then, it has more than doubled in size. I am not sure if it is still growing or not. It’s kind of awesome. Max named it Buddy 2, after my dad’s dog. I want another one of these things so Buddy can have a friend. Currently Buddy is living in my large glass mixing bowl. I am not sure we have room for two. Hmm. Max really wants a fish tank, so Kevin and I are going to get one for him for his birthday (no one steal our idea!). I need to make sure the tank is big enough to house Buddy too.\
    Speaking of birthdays, Brian got screwed out of his big birthday gift. Kevin and I had decided to get him a little kitchen, but the store didn’t have the one I wanted. We then spent a few days checking out online stores and shipping rates. By this time, Brian’s birthday party was over and we just sort of forgot about it. Oops. The kids have way too many toys though. So many in fact that it is hard for me to go present shopping for them because they pretty much have everything- blocks, trucks, little people, etc. How many trucks do they really need? Plus, Brian only really plays with two marbles, two cars, and a handful of blocks all day long. This makes me feel not so bad about planning to box up half of their toys for storage and/or Goodwill.\
    Let’s end on a random note. I rarely agree with Heather Havrilesky’s Salon column, but this week she pimps the season premiere of Weeds (I stopped watching) with my all-time favorite quote:

    My all-time favorite is when Doug and Andy are getting high in the living room and Andy asks the housekeeper, “Lupita, settle an argument for us. What do you call the thing between the dick and the asshole?” She answers, “The coffee table.”

    Man, look at all of the tags on this post!

  • Bad Mommy # 4 and # 183

    Last week over dinner, we were talking about the time and Kevin said, “Six o’clock.” Hmm, scintillating story so far, huh? Have you on the edge of your seats, right? Anyway, Brian says, “Fuck.” Kevin and I snicker but mostly ignore Brian. He says it again and again. Turns out he was trying to say, “Four o’clock,” and just forgot some of the sounds. Heh. You never forget your child’s first cuss word. When Max was a toddler, he would try to say fish, but it would come out, “bitch.” We would laugh and laugh, cuz we are totally immature like that.\
    Earlier today I was watching Entourage and Ari yells, “Fuck you!” a bunch of times and Brian started imitating him, “Fuck you. Fuck you.”\
    Yea, I am the best mommy ever.\
    I have been so busy trying to organize, move, and sort through basement stuff that the other household chores are being neglected. My poor family. Lately my house looks like one of those horrible places that CPS goes into: dirty dishes stacked in the sink, cracker crumbs in the family room, used sippy cups lying about. Ewwwww.\
    Ok, ok. The house usually looks like that except for the 20 minutes before my mom comes to visit. Usually I am too embarrassed to admit it!

  • Random emo story time.

    Babies, babies everywhere!\
    A friend of mine is pregnant, my cousin is pregnant, my neighbor is pregnant, and my other neighbor had a baby two weeks ago. Lots of babies everywhere, which is awesome because talking about babies is so much fun and exciting. Wheeeee! I love it! But having a baby, taking care of a baby? Ehh, I’d rather be stabbed in the eye. (Send all babysitting requests to Jennifer Lawver C/O Babies Everywhere.)\
    I can’t get excited about someone having a baby. It would be like getting excited for someone going off to Iraq. Ugh. I almost cried when my best friend got pregnant. I wonder if I’ll get over this feeling as Brian grows up and becomes less needy. Will I be excited for my sons to have their own kids or cry at the hell they are embarking on? Fifteen years is a long time to have to get over something, so hopefully I will.\
    The End.\
    ETA- I just read Sharon’s blog about morning sickness. OMG, I so want to cry for her. Pregnancy doesn’t really get worse than this, but then the hard part comes.

  • Stuff on my mind.

    Brian-speak update:

    • Brian tries to call Max, “Maxy Max,” like Kevin does, but it comes out, “Beh-Dant.” Seriously. It’s hard to describe. I keep telling Kevin that we NEED to get it on video. It’s cute and we know what he is saying (the inflection matches) but it’s kind of odd, yes?
    • Brian calls that silly Spongebob cartoon, “Aww bot curls pants.” Kevin couldn’t tell at all what Brian was saying until I told him.
    • Today we were playing a word game and Brian kept saying, “bird,” but I didn’t understand until the tenth time. He was getting kind of frustrated with me when I kept asking if he wanted a book. Poor Brian. Maybe it is time to have him reevaluated for speech therapy.
    • When Brian wants to initiate expressions of love, he’ll say, “Happy birthday, Mommy (or Daddy)!” It’s adorable and makes me want to eat his face off. I respond in kind. He can say, “I love you, too,” but only does it when someone else tells him first (such a boy that way).
    • Brian sang me a song today, “Rock a bye, Mommy, on the tree top. When the wind… faaaall.”\
      Sharon’s-having-a-baby Tips #356 and #872:
    • Some hospitals don’t provide wet wipes, so pack your own. It is really difficult to clean meconuim dry. Ask Kevin, he’ll tell you.
    • The hospital will probably give you a free diaper bag, so you can save some money by not getting your own. Use it towards something else totally necessary like… the million other things you need to buy.
    • Don’t stress about buying everything right now. Before you have the baby, all you need to buy is a baby book and some wet wipes for the hospital stay. You’ll probably have a day or two in the hospital (unless you’re a freak and check out four hours later like a friend of mine did). During this time, Mr. Sharon can buy a car seat, some diapers, and some onesies. That is all you really NEED in the beginning. True story. I mean, get the stuff you need, but don’t FREAK the FRAK out, ok?\
      Hey, if any of you readers out there have a tip to share, comment here and I will eventually send it to Sharon. Yes, the baby may be five by the time I send it, but maybe Sharon will be on her second or third then or maybe her younger sister Lauren (my super baby cousin) will be getting in on the mommy-action. See, the tips will still be relevant. (Hmm, imagine how much will change between three years ago when I had Brian and five years from now. A friend currently pregnant was shocked that I nor my friends had ultrasounds at 12 weeks even when nothing was wrong since everyone she knows has one.)\
      The house:
    • Kevin said I could repaint/redecorate the rec room. YAY! But that means more decisions to make, so boooo.
    • There are three ways I am leaning at the moment: painting the main area medium yellow and the office pale yellow (the playroom is bright yellow right now); painting the office blue and keeping the main area red and playroom yellow (primary colors rock my world!); or moving the comfy sectional down here and switching everything to nature-y green so that it flows into the new patio.
    • We’ve gotten rid of so much stuff lately, yay! Super yay! Toys and books and videos and kitchen crap. Head on down to the Sterling Goodwill to see it all. There is still more to get rid of. I am thinking about donating my wedding dress, but keeping my veil, to a breast cancer charity shop. It seems kind of sad, but what am I to do with it? I don’t have any daughters to dream of passing it to. I still fantasize of getting rid of half of everything I see. Ahh, sweet empty closets call out to me.\
      Politics:
    • The lack of action against the Bush Administration almost makes me believe in a Skull and Bones conspiracy. And I swear that I am mostly a rational person.
    • Hilary Clinton’s answer about whether she would talk to other governments (she basically said she wouldn’t, she doesn’t want to be used to propaganda) really bothers me. I understand what she means, but her first inclination is to worry about appearance rather than doing the job that needs getting done.